Day 8 It's working!

I've noticed that my feet hurt when I'm at the grocery store, even if I haven't been walking at all that day. And I was there today and my feet started hurting and I realized I was anxious about finding healthy choices for my family and specifically my picky 5 year old and I told the pain it wasn't necessary and then I ignored it and I realized when I got home that I never had anymore pain in my feet! I did almost have an anxiety attack in the grocery store after not having one for 15 years but I remembered hearing about calming yourself and it actually helped me keep it manageable. This letting myself feel emotions is great for the physical pain but the emotional pain is difficult, heavy. I understand that some people feel it for a minute and then let it go, but I woke up very early with some concerns and let myself feel the emotion and I couldn't fall back to sleep and barely held it together for the majority of the day and almost lost it in the grocery store. So... no I don't feel safe letting myself feel my emotions, they stem from confusion, problems I can't solve, questions I can't answer and it's overwhelming and in the moment feels hopeless. But I am thankful for this program and website and everyone out there who has gone before me and has come out on the other side. And I'm thankful my feet didn't hurt today!

 

Hi ElizabethG,

What a wonderful report!! You "thought psychological," and it worked!! This is very powerful medicine to have this direct-in-time experience, where you see the results immediately.

Then the anxiety attack... Which fits the observations Dr. Sarno made that when the symptom subsides, there is anxiety. Textbook!

This experience today is very deep, and one which will impact you in the deeper layers as you contemplate it over time.

I don't know what are doing to address the anxiety, but simple breathing practices help, and so does developing a witnessing view. Another way to hold it is that you can treat it just like the TMS symptom. You can address it that you know it is trying to hide something from you, trying to distract you. Remember the anxiety is not the feeling it is trying to distract you from. The anxiety is the distractor. It grabs attention. If you see it as an attention grabber, and nothing to concern yourself about, this may help. The feelings underneath the axiety may be painful, but extreme anxiety is probably even more unpleasant, harder to tolerate than the feelings underneath. So I hope you take heart.

Andy B

 

Hi, Elizabeth G. Remember, Dr. Sarno says we don't have to solve an emotional problem, just discover it and bring it up from our repressed emotions. Journal about it and the subconscious is satisfied and stops the pain it has been sending. You don't have to re-live the trauma that you are repressing. Just recognize it and then you can put it behind you. Live in the present, not the past or future. Think and do things today that make you feel good and happy.

I was a little down in spirit this morning, until I remembered some fun times with my best friend, and my spirits lifted so much that I began laughing.
We played "beer can ping-pong," bouncing the ball against the table so it hit the ceiling of my bedroom and bounced back. Five points if the ball hit the top of the beer can. We drank a lot of beer while playing, which made us laugh.

 

Thanks Andy! That's helpful. I hadn't thought about anxiety being another TMS symptom hiding something deeper. I'm looking forward to figuring out what's at the root of all of this. I've had shoulder pain for 20 years and it's constant. The feet started hurting off and on about a year ago, so I guess it makes sense that it was easier to figure out the feet. Thanks!

 

Thanks Walt - I'll keep this in mind. I'm still figuring out if I'm dealing with stuff from the past or if it's all fears about the future. Either way, I will make an effort to focus on the present. I like your memory - that sounds fun. I think you are right about me being stoic, I rarely laugh or if I do it's never long enough to be memorable like your time with your friend. I'm finding it very difficult to have emotions about the things I'm journaling about. I can rationally acknowledge that they bother me or should bother me but when I stop and try to focus on how I feel, I feel nothing. I meditate for a while to see if that will help. Nothing still but I'll keep it up as I continue the program. I remember seeing a counselor when I had panic attacks 15 years ago and she gave me a list of feeling words so I could answer her questions. I should probably dig that out for when I journal. Maybe it would help.

 

I find a meditation practice with regular reminders to re-presence is very helpful for relaxing and relieving anxiety and panicky feelings:

 

Him laughalot. I just watched the bell meditation video and like it. Very restful.
My computer is doing strange things like putting up something over your video post.

I get so tired of computers and technology. I grew up before there was television.

 

Thanks! I'll try that. That's a great idea. I love your user name.