Just starting out, hopefully only a minor setback

After reading “Heeling Back Pain” last week I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I finally knew what was causing my Pelvic and abdominal pain issues and I felt like I had hope. I felt great all week and begun resuming exercising again. My game plan entailed doing Alan Gordon’s recovery program, journaling my emotions every night (Nichole Sachs), and reading and watching TMS success stories. I may be littles obsessed with it. I’ve notices that I haven’t been able to sleep since reading the book and my anxiety has been through the roof. Prior to reading the book I thought I had a handle on my anxiety with mindful meditation which I’ve been doing religiously for 3 months. I was sleeping better than ever and my anxiety was low. Now, I’m having a really hard time focusing in meditation. On Friday I decided to go for a run and since then the pain has returned with a vengeance. I have a few questions if anyone has been in this predicament. I’m wondering If I’m too obsessed/doing too much with my recovery. Is this a temporary bump in the road? Is it typical to have a hard time sleeping after reading the book? Is it normal for anxiety to go through the roof in the early stages of the recovery program? I appreciate all insight. Thanks, Mike

 

It's extremely normal for anxiety to ramp up during the process. The TMS is in a sense, taking another form (system substitution) . Whenever you shake things up in your belief system and your thoughts, there is bound to be some discomfort and anxiety. The key is accepting it and not making it a big deal. Based on your question, it does sound like you may be obsessing and "doing" and "trying" which is all counter productive for healing. There is really nothing to "do" or strive for or fight against or power through. It's actually the opposite. It's a paradigm shift. The key to healing is living your life and focusing on your life. It's really about, acceptance, surrender, allowing and becoming indifferent to the physical pain and symptoms (outcome independence).

 

There is no magic recipe or "right" or wrong way, or special order to healing. It's not about reading as much as possible or doing "more". It doesn't work like that and this is exactly where you need to make the shift. By thinking in this way, what your'e actually doing is focusing on the pain and not your emotions or your life. Timelines need to be thrown out the window. The more indifferent you become to the pain and the more you start actually living your life, the less power the TMS has. It gradually fades out. You won't even notice the pain becoming peripheral because you won't even care. The reason you won't care and won't be monitoring it all the time, is because you will be fully living your life. When you are fully living in the present moment, you aren't thinking about "when am I going to get better already?". When you have thoughts of wanting to get better "as quickly as possible", what you are doing is actually feeding the TMS strategy and reinforcing the symptoms. When you are calendar watching and having the types of thoughts as "I'm so sick of this", "I just want this to all be over", "Why is this taking so long?", "Is there something I'm missing?", "Do I need to do, read, journal, meditate, yoga more? etc etc... you are actually in a state of resistance which is what keeps the pain strategy alive. You have to in a sense, change your whole way of "being". Humans tend to complicate matters and over think. You could literally get better just by reading one Sarno book and never journaling or meditating a day in your life. I never journaled or did any of that stuff (they are all great tools though if you enjoy it and you find it helpful!...but not necessary.). I did have therapy because I really needed the support, so that was key for me. Everyone is different though and what is most effective, is what feels natural and helpful (not forced or pressured) for you.

 

Absolutely, no "one size fits all" in TMS recovery.

Not always easy to do, but it is the key part of TMS recovery for me.

 

Miffybunny- thanks for taking the time to help me out. I've read your post a few times in an effort to fully absorb it. I see that changing my way of thinking about this is going to be the key. Hopefully at some point it all clicks.

 

Yes, it truly does come down to that. So simple yet we always get in our own way. I used to think that if only my pain would go away, I would have such a great life. I had to turn that belief on it's head and realize that if I actually started living my life the way I wanted to, the pain would cease to have a purpose, and it would cease to exist! It was a total paradigm shift.