Livvygurl's TMS Story

My family did not express their emotions freely. I was a pretty emotional kid, so at an early age I learned to bury my emotions. My parents divorced when I was three, and my mother had a long string of boyfriends causing repeated experiences of abandonment in my life. I had a slight Scoliosis since childhood; the doctor told my mother and I that this might cause problems for me in the future. I had back problems in high school and used to jog in Central Park. I had some pain in my hip and saw a back specialist who told me to never run again because of the way my spine was structured. I heeded his advice but continued to ski, ice skate, dance at nightclubs, and walk for long distances. I was a social teen and went to a lot of parties.

My level of physical activity was high during my mid-20s. I worked catering parties, became a fashion stylist and traveled a lot, living a regular life without the paranoia of re-injuring myself. During this time I was in a moderate car accident and I started going to a chiropractor, getting massages, and focusing on my healing. I broke up with a guy I was dating and lived on my own being an artist, making artsy films with a group of friends and feeling more like myself. At the same time I noticed that I felt really light-headed and had some worry related to this sensation. Some odd years later, I was in a major car accident and had a head injury. I had 7 staples in my head, no broken bones. After this accident I became really stiff in general and had a difficult time moving around freely; I became rather restricted and careful with my movements. Even though this was the case, I held jobs that were physical managing to do what I could to function, while hoping that no one would notice any of my physical limitations.

Through experimentation I developed some coping strategies that helped me to function and make it through the day. I received Reiki treatments from a woman that sent me energy when I called her on the phone; I worked with her for years on my back pain. I became very spiritual studying many books on the healing arts. I let go of inappropriate friends and became a loner/ hermit. This new lifestyle served as a proper soul-searching platform for self-discovery. Being a very driven person, I managed to make it through graduate school although I had very intense pain in my neck, top of shoulders, hips, and jaw. It was difficult to give presentations when I felt light headed and it was also a great challenge to work with clients when I was in pain.

In January, I had a series of medical tests that proved nothing was wrong with my body. On June 5, 2012, I heard about Dr. John E. Sarno and found out about the TMS Wiki, my life has shifted dramatically in many positive ways! I am healing! My new learning has helped me begin the process of retraining my brain toward accepting so-called unacceptable emotions and feelings. I am so grateful for a second chance at living my life more fully. It has been exciting to watch this long journey of living with pain unfold; each recovery is like finding a precious jewel in the ocean under the sparkling sun. I am so thankful for this community of like-minded people where we can help each other to help ourselves. As I gradually unwind from years of pain and suffering, I look to the future and am excited about dancing, doing yoga, and hugging people once again.

 

Yay, Livvy! Thanks for sharing your story

 

I admired your enthusiasm from the start. You have really embraced the concept of TMS/PPD along with is community of peers. {{{{group hug with Livvy}}}}

 

I'm joining the group hug!

All the best Livvy. Great to hear your progress. I am very grateful I learned about Dr. Sarno too!

 

Good on you Livvy! Sending you hugs from Australia! <3 It's really encouraging to hear your recovery story.

 

Very encouraging story to read for someone just starting on the TMS recovery journey having read Sarno just a week ago

thanks for sharing it and hope I can contribute a similar story soon

 

Congratulations on all of your achievements. I am new to the TMS wiki and your story is very inspiring. Also, thank you for taking the courage to post.

 

Love reading recovery stories that mirror your own experience. As Forrest said before, success stories were the hard currency of his personal revival.

 

Congratuations on your recovery Libby
Thank youn for sharing your story, it is truly inspiring.
We are all so lucky to have found some light on the way.

 

This is great. Thank you for sharing!

 

You came such a long way in only one month! Thank you for sharing your inspiring story. I love the ending!

 

Hi Livvy,
Thanks for your story! I am very new to the TMS recovery process (on day 5 of the SEP). My pain is in the neck as well. I'm interested to know if you felt that reike helped you? My father died suddenly about 4 yrs ago and shortly after when i started to have panic attacks i began taking yoga. I felt it helped with my anxiety very much. However, my neck pain got really bad back in jan/feb this year and i stopped doing it for fear of making things worse. I now know that it's key in my recovery to not let the pain make me fearful of physical activity and doing things i enjoy. I have a wonderful yoga instructor who helped me through hard times after my dad died. She's been studying reike and after confiding to her about my research in TMS, she wants to give me a reike session. Just wondering what your thoughts are on it! Sorry for the long winded question. Thanks!

Amanda

 

Thanks for sharing your journey. It is a process to heal inside and out and you took all the right steps. Sarno's approach saved me years ago when I felt I was falling apart with pain and now am thriving.

 

Thanks for your story, Livvy. Can I ask how many years you had the pain? I am asking for a friend who has a similar situation, starting with a car accident. For him it has been over 3 decades. Thanks Livvy.

 

Thanks for your story

The line you included about "my family did not express their emotions freely" got me thinking. This was the same for me and whilst I have never thought that this was a negative thing looking back i can see how it could have been. There was never any arguments at all which i can see now would have meant underlying tensions that were not addressed.

Congrats (big hug)

 

Thank you for sharing. Beautiful and honest story.