Day 17 Love-Hate

I’m to choose a part of the program I like the best today. Here goes:

Hands down, I like the helpful responses that have broadened my thinking, brought to me most kindly from wise experiences.

Then there’s the part I both love and hate: Yeah, THAT one! Journaling. I see myself more clearly, thus the nexus of pain. Cathartic isn’t a strong enough word to describe the explosion of feelings I didn’t anticipate. The fact that I love the results of the process but hate the process itself is telling. My mind resists!

 

The difference is @JanAtheCPA, you don't freak out when you get symptoms. You are able to see them for what they are and have that aha moment and know exactly what you need to do with confidence and assurance that you always on the right path.

 

I love this! And also how you mentioned it gets easier after the initial Work has been accomplished.

I noticed journaling has actually gotten enjoyable and even addictive (the feeling of emotional relief it gives is addictive), since I’ve been doing it every day for the Hanscom app the past 2 months. I hope I keep it up after I’m done with the app!

But, I will say, I just start rambling on the page. I don’t force any negative feelings to the surface. I more provide a reliable outlet, and if they come, they come. This takes the pressure off of journaling to be a digging session every time. And it has lured me into liking it.

 

I’m discovering the truth of what you say JanA, and the (non)technique of just spewing a stream of (un)consciousness upon the pages. This I do in long hand as I can then feel or examine the force, emphasis, softness, hesitation, anger, or whatever, of my changing script as the emotions flow.

I am also finding that the words themselves can be surprising and enlightening. I cannot help but think of those who claim to reveal the unknown through automatic writing, as they call it. Similarly, we are also revealing our unrealized truths from within.

My gosh, do you ever reinforce my thinking! As ever, thank you!