Day 9 Making Progress

Hey everyone! Back for day 9.

I have been making progress emotionally. Today's and yesterday's journalling really brought up some difficult stuff - some things I've done that I am not especially proud of, and stuff that has been holding me back in life. I don't think I've ever sat down and thought this critically about my past actions before - and it really felt good to do after. Maybe you guys are on to something here....

Today's question asked if I've been critical about myself lately. And holy shit have I ever been. I am 22 years old, and at this age people are beginning their career. I have a few friends who are doing very well for themselves, and I have not yet begun my career. I am doing a masters degree in physics in my hometown (not where I did my undergrad), partly because I enjoy living at home, and partly because I am not sure what else to do. It is only two years and fully funded, and I do enjoy the research, but I constantly find myself feeling like I am not making the right decision. I have been feeling very insecure about this lately. I think I have attached myself way too closely with an appearance of success that I feel like I always need to be ahead of everyone. I am only 22, and I know that is very young and I shouldn't be worried about this shit yet, but I am for some reason.

Anyways, onwards and forwards. Been listening to the mind fitness podcast by a fellow TMSer and I've been enjoying that a lot.

 

Your feelings are so normal! Over a long career, I took positions I regretted, and was much happier when I admitted it and started to look for an opportunity to move onto something that I really enjoyed. Plus I was just so much better at it when my heart was in it! Savor the research parts you enjoy. Do your best in the rest. Everything you learn forms a foundation of experience that will benefit you in some way in all your future decisions, so don't feel like it is time wasted. Some of my most important lessons were looking closely at what I didn't like about something. Pat yourself on the back for your education - do you realize how few people get an undergrad degree? And far fewer get a graduate degree. Make a wish list of the ideal job - that will help you manifest it.