Day 8 me and my bestie TMS

Things have been pretty crazy honestly.
I remember when I first started off with Dr Alan's pain program. The results were quite incredible. I just stopped caring about the pain, I started recognising how I my every action and thought was some form of fear.

I was ecstatic and filled with joy with the most basic things - sitting, being able to read a book, jogging and then eventually running.
Slowly that initial honeymoon period began to wane and things became a bit more settled and normal.
Things that I feared and always overthought now became fairly routine and did not set off danger alarms in my brain.
The fears slowly changed and evolved, uncovering more deeper fears and questions about my past and future.
Sometimes physical conditioned fears do peep in but rarely do they have the power to hold onto my attention for substantial periods of time.

Triggers are more emotional now, more linked to things i may be insecure about or scared of on a mental level - like going back to work, being able to achieve my goals, building my life how I want to build it, navigating past traumatic events.

Being 'not enough' was a big one for me. Applying that question to all aspects of life has opened up my mind to realising just how often I do think this way, regardless of what I may be doing.

I'm learning to forgive myself, forgive others and let go.
I'm learning to tell myself that I've always done the best I could have done with the information that I had in that moment, that I never intentionally meant to cause people pain.
I'm learning to be authentic to myself and embrace an identity of my choosing.
I'm learning that the only limits that exist are the ones that I create in my head.
I'm learning to rest rather than engage myself when I feel restless (I have a habit of wanting to keep filling my day with things, feeling like time is running out and wanting to make up for time that I may have 'lost' during my TMS pain)

I stumble, I make mistakes, but I'm learning from each of them and being kind and compassionate to myself.
It ain't easy but I'm happy with the direction that I'm heading in.

 

Invincible! This is a wonderful list of successes! Thanks for posting. It’s very inspiring. Keep up the good work! You have the perfect attitude. And look at all the growth!