Day 27 Migraine

i had some relief from the last post where I wrote about a flair up. Today I was doing some work around the house that I really didn’t want to do. Chore stuff. I think there was this child like anger toward it. I had a little tiff with my girlfriend but nothing major. We had lunch and on the drive back home I started sensing a headache coming on. It lingered and then travelled into my left side of my head and lower jaw. Then my upper jaw and created excruciating pain. Then my eyes in general hurt like hell and I had some mild nausea.

I know migraines are TMS. I never really had a migraine or maybe I did but since I was always in pain I never cared to notice.

The problem with the migraine is that it makes it difficult to do much thinking and go about your day. Like all TMS pain, it’s very distracting and I forget in the moment, how to go about accepting. This is the inherent problem of new pain. Novelty grabs our attention in different ways.

I can’t think of what emotions are coming up other than getting a little caught up in my symptoms with the flair up. It causes some old thoughts about health anxiety but eventually I caught myself. This could very well be a kind of tantrum to bring me back to worry.

As I type this the pain intensified so much and then waned. There’s also a shivering quality of something beneath I can feel often with TMS. Anxiety and fear. This one has both.