Day 14 Money worries and useful reading

What TMS-related book, article, or news story have you found the most helpful in solidifying your belief in the diagnosis?

I wish my belief were more solid and that is very high on my list of things to work on. There haven't been any articles that changed things too much for me. There was a forum post here that talked about drop foot that I found very enlightening since I thought drop foot was proof that my muscles were tight in a very asymmetric way. Seeing that people had cured that symptom through mental work was important.

I also found the way that Dr. Sarno and Dr. Schubiner discuss the personality types that get TMS to be important. Seeing that it was perfectionist people with parents that had trouble displaying affection was important. I think I should reread the Dr. Sarno more but I find it difficult.

I have looked at the daily reminders many times. Mostly it's unhelpful but there are times when it makes a big difference such as when I decided to resume playing sports.
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Dear Money Worries,
I feel unsafe. You hit me right in the gut and make feel so uncertain about the future and my ability to keep things together. Sometimes you make me not want to bother- although those times are fleeting. I've always trusted money more than I trusted my parents to provide for me. There were many times when I was working at my last company when I relished how simple the demands were and how much more I received.
Although the company often had me work for a short time on a weekend I got off early on Friday and in general had a regular work week. The demands of the company were limited. Whereas with my family there was a sense they wanted everything including and especially the psychological. The idea that I could go home and have a place to myself and could do whatever I wanted with that time was so welcome.
Unfortunately TMS has robbed me of that security. It makes me feel vulnerable. I want to cast you out. I want you and TMS to be over but I know you're intertwined.
You are also wrapped up with dignity. I don't need to have a lot in this life- there are many ways in which I'm capable of making do. Yet sometimes I like to act as if I don't have to worry. There's a Spanish restaurant near me which serves good food and I like to go there and eat and read sometime. It feels irresponsible because it costs more than eating food from the grocery store. Sometimes when I'm there I think about "normal" people not having to worry when they eat there and not realizing how good they have it. I also realize that some people have it worse. It's not a huge thing but it is nice sometimes to have a bit of the dignity that money can provide. Not to show off but to be able to treat myself a little.