Day 4 More awareness

I'm feeling a lot, most of it includes hope and renewed energy. I have been embracing the things that I have resistance to doing, even the things such as having a conversation I know I need to have but don't want to. . . and I'm finding myself coming more alive. I'm also recognizing some intense emotions that I didn't know existed previously. I was FaceTiming (Iphone Skype) a friend today and the connection was horrible and I couldn't get my point across clearly. I realized the intense frustration that arose and it frightened me a little bit. I couldn't believe how upset and frustrated I got from not being able to get my point across clearly. I am thinking that I haven't realized this before because I have been repressing these feelings and not allowing myself to experience the emotions, definitely causing more tension.

Day 4 post: The most disheartening thing a doc told me about my symptoms is that I needed to begin to make peace with the pain. So ok, I get it now that I am learning more and more about TMS, but it felt like a stab to the heart. I didn't want to be disabled for the rest of my life and surely didn't want to be at peace with that. Slowly learning to find peace in the pain though. . . because it is not here to stay.