Day 5 More Belief

I woke up this morning and found some pain in my left side of my neck, which I never had felt before. Classic TMS maneuver. My belief in the syndrome is increasing more and more from a mere myth to reality. I was talking with a friend last night describing the syndrome and how mild oxygen deprivation caused the severe pain, and she enthusiastically acknowledged that yes, oxygen deprivation is known as a painful condition. This sunk in further this morning as I found this new pain in the other side of my neck. I had a big victory today as I walked down the street and felt a sting in my back, but quickly disregarded it because I was BELIEVING that there was nothing wrong with that area of my back.

Also, I have been realizing way more emotions that I ever thought I had. Some of it is even scary, like how I can get angry at a friend for asking for my help. . . someone who I deeply care about, and feel I shouldn't get angry at. Or for example angry at myself for putting so much pressure on myself to accomplish certain tasks by certain times. I have been allowing the anger/anxiety/discomfort/etc to arrise and just have been observing it and not giving in. It's been good.

Day 5 post: I haven't been hiking in quite some time because I have been scared to hurt myself. Well, I'm going to start small and go after it. I want my life back.