Day 4 Most disheartening thing a doctor has told me about my symptoms.

I went to the doctors about wrist pain a few years ago. They gave me painkillers, referred me to a physio and gave me various tests.

This was when I had an office job. As soon as I got to work and used a mouse and keyboard, my wrist would be in agony. I think the doctors got fed up of seeing me. Eventually they told me that I would have to quit my job, and find another job which didn't involve computers!

This was extremely disheartening to say the least. I didn't want to quit my job, as I was good at it (from being a perfectionist and people pleasing everyone!). I got scared about making my wrist worst, so eventually I quit my office job, and went into retail. This meant taking a massive pay cut, and all my knowledge and computer skills was a massive waste.

Looking back on it, I wish I knew about TMS pain then, and maybe I could have worked through all my repressed anger and I never would have had to quit a well paying job I was good at.

Too be honest my wrist still isn't 100%. It's really difficult to disregard what a doctor says about your health. Yes my wrist got better. But that's probably because I wasn't people pleasing and being a perfectionist so much. Looking back on it, it all makes sense.

My wrist still hurts, and I have flexibility issues. I used to have a lot of foot pain, and my wrist was better then. Then classic TMS, my foot got better, and my wrist got worse.

I read on here that someone else said "it's like somewhere on my body has to hurt all the time, I can't go through a day without a pain or ache in my body".

I'm still a bit confused personality traits. Am I meant to be cured from TMS just be making the connection from personality traits and pain? Or am I meant to change my personality i.e. not please people so much, if they don't please me, and not being so much of a perfectionist unless it's really necessary. Too be honest the latter works for me. Maybe this is for a different post.

Sorry for the long post. I am very grateful for this forum.

 

> I'm still a bit confused personality traits. Am I meant to be cured from TMS just be making the connection from personality traits and pain? Or am I meant to change my personality i.e. not please people so much, if they don't please me, and not being so much of a perfectionist unless it's really necessary. Too be honest the latter works for me. Maybe this is for a different post.

While it's true that Dr. Sarno believed that for many people just realizing the connection would be enough to cure their pain I think it's very beneficial to work on these issues.
I think it's about being kind to yourself, becoming more aware of your needs and caring for them.
There's always a balance to be found.
It's not bad to want to be nice to people and please them but you're not being much use to anyone if you make yourself miserable in the process.
I think it's great to care about the things you do and how well they turn out but it's not worth it to make yourself miserable about this,
you can learn to accept how things turn out while still caring about them.
It can be hard to change your personality but you can always change how you deal with certain things.

Wish you all the best on your journey!

 

Thanks for your reply.

This is great advice, thanks. I think it would be very difficult to suddenly stop people pleasing everyone all the time, and stop being a perfectionist about everything. I have found small modifications make a big difference. Being aware of our needs is a big deal, like you say. There is no point in making everyone happy, if we are miserable all the time.