Day 18 Most prevalent emotions

Looking back on my journals I would say the most prevalent emotions are fear, sadness, anger and a new one discovered this morning while journalling, guilt. The fear is mostly do to with my back and backside pain in the mornings, that I may never pinpoint the trigger, never get up and start my day like I used to, never get up and do stuff while on holiday, it really is a roller coaster ride and a back and forward conversation in my mind, cause I know what it is (TMS) and then it's the same thing again the next morning! Affirmations are a constant, I believe they work, my new one is 'it is safe to look within'. Might help unlock some feelings. My Dad's accident and death bring out the sadness, obviously, and the anger too, that I missed out on knowing him as a person. I don't have many memories, mostly just stories from other people, that I remember. But the guilt was new. Guilt that I remember thinking that it would have been better if he had died at the time of the accident. And not spent the next 20 years in hospital, which meant visits. Guilt that mum had to drag us to hospital to see him, because we didn't like going to hospital, ashamed too. I hate going to hospitals to this day, and I have only been for myself once, and I didn't like the feeling of walking in there, nervous and shaky and on the verge of tears! Guilt too, for causing Mum distress as we kids were growing up, she was only doing the best she could. New country, no friends or family around, 3 kids under 10 and her husband with a serious brain injury that he will never recover from. I appreciate her even more, with what she went through.
Take care x

 

Hi, Scrat. You've been through a lot, and it's understandable that you feel anger and sadness, but I wouldn't feel guilt. You had nothing to do with your father's accident and death. You were just a kid and didn't like visiting your dad in the hospital all those years... no one of any age would. You were as helpful to and supportive of your mother as you could. I would try hard to let it all go now and live in the present. Be grateful for the good things in your life.

You have journaled, probably enough, about those past emotions. Now your subconscious knows that you know what they are,
so it's not necessary in TMS healing to keep going over them. This can be hard to do, but meditation can be the answer in clearing the mind of negative, troubling thoughts.

Meditation is a time-honored way of relaxing the mind and relieving anxiety, mental stress, headaches, and even physical pain. There are many ways to practice meditation, but many consider the most successful to be a technique called the Relaxation Response (RR). It is a wonderful way to practice TMS Mindbody Healing because it changes harmful thinking in the subconscious mind which Dr. John Sarno says causes pain that is not caused by anything structural.

The RR, practiced once or twice a day for 10, 15, or 20 minutes has a profound positive effect on the subconscious mind, relieving or curing everything from anxiety, hypertension, headaches, fatigue, nervousness, dizziness, high blood pressure, insomnia, stomach problems, all forms of pain including backaches, abdominal pain, muscle pain, neck, arm, and leg pain, and relieves side affects from cancer and AIDS.

RR is like Transcendental Meditation which is taught by TM specialists who charge hundreds or thousands of dollars. But the RR is free and you can do it yourself.

It is practiced, before a meal, and works best if not practiced within two hours after a meal. I do it in bed before arising in the morning and again in bed before falling sleep. Often, I only do it 5 or 10 minutes and it works to calm me and put me to sleep.

Just sit in a chair (or lie in bed in the morning or at bedtime), close your eyes, don’t listen to any music, and try to avoid outside noises. Let your mind think of a word such as

"One " which has no real meaning or association. Or say a calming word such as “Calm” or “Peace,” or add the faith or spiritual element by saying a favorite religious word or prayer. Breathe naturally or incorporate Deep Breathing by breathing in through the mouth to inflate the stomach, suck in the stomach while holding the breath for a few seconds, then say the word when you exhale through the mouth.

Say the word silently over and over. At the end of the 10 to 20 minutes, picture and feel yourself as you were when you felt your best, and in a place where you felt that way.

When distracting thoughts arise during the RR, as they will, just tell yourself, “Oh, well,” and go back to repeating your chosen word.

My "word" is a prayer: "God loves me and is protecting me." I say it a few times and go right to sleep. If my mind wanders onto other things, I tell myself"Oh, well," and repeat my mantra silently while deep breathing.

There are several free videos on Youtube about the Relaxation Response. I especially recommend these two by Dr. Benson:





and this one which can put you to sleep:



and

 

Hi Walt, thanks for your reply. I read it first thing this morning, but have been thinking about what you said while getting things done around the house before work. It's not that I feel guilty about Dad's accident, but that I thought that thought, and felt that way! No one wishes a parent to die! And I think I was helpful and supportive of Mum, sometimes, but I also know I drove her 'nuts' sometimes too. We were only kids though and didn't see the big picture I guess. But I do think maybe you are right in saying that I need to move on, let it go, the past is the past. "The past has no power over me", I read recently.
May I ask, do you, or others reading this, find meditation helpful before journalling or after? I'm new to meditation, and am still finding my feet, so to speak.

 

Hi, Scrat. I find the Relaxation Response meditation helpful anytime day or night, even when not journaling.
It stops the mind from dwelling on pain or emotional stress so it can recharge its batteries.It puts the mind in
neutral, not forward or backward. Practice deep breathing while you do the RR.

You're on the right track about the past having no power over you. Yesterday is gone and won't come back.

 

My reply doesn't show here s I'll try again. I find that the Relaxation Response helps anytime, even when not journaling.