Much needed help

I'm on Day 13th of the SEP programme, well i've figured out a lot of my repressed emotions lately and those are disturbing infact, i feel shame even to discuss about those emotions. Moreover i've discovered something strange with me lately, i notice that my pain increases when i'm in anger but overtime when my anger cools down my pain lessens too, i've also had different symptoms lately, the funniest part is i've a disc dehydration at around T11-t12 vertebrae which initially was causing pain around mid back but within the first few days of learning tms pain on my mid back has significantly reduced and it shifted to my neck, it was burning sensation for few days, this symptom has now disappeared and now my pain has moved to another area like the upper back, between the shoulder blades, i feel alot of muscle tension around that general area and alot of stiffness too. Pain is usually less after i wakeup but as the day passes so does the pain magnifies, i know i'm on the right track but i need help, a desperate plea indeed as because of changing in my symptoms it's like my mind is forcing me to stop SEP which i don't want. How do i tackle with this confusing situation, How do i forget about pain and how do i address them from now. Should i keep the journal going or should i do something else. I know its TMS, i don't want to give up as i'm so close to letting my 3 years best friend (pain) to let go. I need suggestions as to how my approaches should be on the coming days. Thanks to whoever helps me.

 

By Far , the most effective tool in the Sarno toolkit is:

When you find yourself noticing the pain , consciously and forcefully turn your attention to a constant source of irritation like a financial problem, bad marriage,etc..... this begins to condition the unconscious to your awareness of what it's doing and will ultimately cause the symptom to stop... your telling the TMS "I don't need your help anymore, thanks"... the pain is there to KEEP you from unsavory feelings so diving into one on your own scratches the record and eventually it won't play anymore.

and yes... I had a very thorough and fast recovery and I read every day, sat and considered my whole experience in context of the new information and went and had a lot of exercise and '5 minute Hates'.... like the ones Orwell spoke of in 1984. I would get somewhere nice and safe and go OFF on any suspected TMS culprits....out loud, by myself.

I got painfree really fast. Keeping those tools around has kept it at bay for 21 years now

The twelve reminders
Reading the text(s)
Challenging the notion of 'injury'

it all helps

 

Thanks alot, i guess it all makes sense now and i'm positive enough that i'm on the right track and eventually will get a pain free life back again.

 

Please remember that emotions are part of what makes us human. Whatever you are feeling, you do not deserve to feel lifelong shame. I've worked with a cognitive behavioral therapist who explained that the emotions I felt ashamed of could actually signify my positive values. For example, when I'd become extremely angry with a family member for being abusive toward my mother, I felt shame for flying off the handle and yelling at them. Although I did need to learn how to take a deep breath and handle the situation better, I didn't have to view myself as this evil person - I was angry because I value family, respect, and justice. This helped me regain control over my emotions and also accept myself. Letting go of shame is going to be an important part of any journey. Also, I'd rather be in my shoes with my emotions than be nearly emotionless like Dexter Morgan!

All 100% normal and signs of the symptom imperative: https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/The_symptom_imperative (The symptom imperative)

View this as a good sign - that is classic TMS, which you can absolutely overcome!

We must all understand and accept that mind-body symptoms, just like emotions, are part of being human. We all experience mind-body symptoms at some point, whether it's a headache when you're stressed out or psychosomatic blindness (which people have recovered from!) after losing a loved one. Sometimes it helped me to express gratitude for my awareness of the mind-body connection/TMS. What if I had never known about it and ended up like people on those other forums who gave up on life, their dreams, their jobs, their relationships, etc. because they thought they were disabled from fibromyalgia, carpal tunnel, CRPS, and countless other issues? I eventually got to the point where I felt lucky to be exactly where I was because I believed in my ability to heal and recover. Your shifting symptoms are proof that your body is capable of working!

Your pain is not permanent and the body is designed to heal. What hobbies do you enjoy participating in? What makes you smile? Today I snuggled my cat who is a total diva and makes me smile whenever she purrs and reverts back to a cuddly kitten. I felt at peace and relaxed by something so simple. I told her I loved her and expressed my gratitude to her. I believe that this type of approach to life is an important part of what helps me from going back to the nightmarish hell I'd previously been living in. Basically, this means I know how to calm my nervous system down and I'm not constantly living in sympathetic nervous system overdrive anymore. I can handle hardships much better, too.

Also, regarding your best friend of three years (pain), note that it's not uncommon to feel attached to your symptoms. It can feel like it's just part of our lives. But remember that so many of us have recovered and are living much happier lives. There is life after this and you can get there, I promise!