Day 8 My experience with TMS thusfar...

I'm going to say that it's not too soon to start making a plan.

Personally, I always knew that I had no intention of "aging in place" although others would not dream of living in a retirement community. To each their own, but I take the issue of isolation very seriously, as it is well-known to be a significant factor in mental and physical decline. I am childless by choice, and almost 74, and two of my best friends have recently started talking about moving out of the city within the next couple of years, to live near their kids. This could have been an emotional kick in the teeth but it has not been, because I have a plan!

I also have personal experience going for me. At around 66 I got serious about contemplating my future, and I recalled a couple of decades earlier, when my childless and very elderly half-aunt finally agreed to move across the country at age 90 to be with her only remaining family (three half-nieces). She'd had a lot of friends in her old neighborhood, but almost everyone had either died or gone to live near their kids. She wanted to live in a retirement community and we found an excellent one, but she had a really hard time adapting. I'll never forget her telling us "I should have done this ten years ago when I first started talking about it".

I was also very unhappy with my mother, some years later, who insisted on living alone at an advanced age, counting on my two brothers who lived nearby, but ultimately becoming miserable and bitchy, especially to them, as she became more isolated after her mid-eighties (the women in my family live very long lives, for better or worse!). We tragically lost our youngest brother at age 56 to an undiagnosed heart valve condition when she was 92, and she basically died of depression because she was amazingly healthy in all other respects - other than suffering from the fear that she might outlive her three other children, especial our surviving brother who lived close by. (And, by the way, why is it that homo sapiens, among all the species, have decided that children should be expected to take on the burden of care for their aging parents? It was one thing when we didn't live all that long, AND we lived in communities where people all took care of each other, but the modern so-called civilized world screwed that up, too.) (This is a rhetorical rant - not meant to be answered). It made me angry that at the end of her life my logical and pragmatic mother stubbornly refused to consider a plan in which she could live in a community and my surviving brother could have his own life (you better believe that was the subject of at least one Unsent Letter thanks to the SEP).

But I digress! With these experiences, and having reached Medicare age, I was motivated to start visiting retirement communities with a friend, and eventually I put down a small deposit for the "long term" wait list at one of them - indicating that I did not want to be notified of available units until 2026 when I'm 75. Reaching that date doesn't mean I'm obligated to move in, but I get to remain at the top of the list until I'm ready and in the meantime I also get the newsletters and invitations to a couple of events every year. I probably reached the top of the list a few years ago, which has been reassuring if I needed to move sooner. Now 2026 is almost here which seems a little too soon, but I am trying to be mindful of the truth about reality, which is that the longer I wait, the harder it will be to endure the physical and mental stress of a move. I also have the example of my best friend from my condo who moved to this same place six years ago at age 75 and she couldn't be happier. And I'm feeling positive and safe, knowing where I'm going and that I will have community, resources and support appropriate to the realities of aging.

That's my input, to go along with the excellent advice from @homorobothead. Whose name I find myself appreciating more and more every day. Since homo sapiens seem to be exhibiting a lot less sapiens and a lot more robothead lately...