My First Day

I believe in TMS and that I have it. I have had back pain throughout my life. As a kid it stopped me from continuing with gymnastics and during my first marriage I saw a chiropractor for a year to no avail and a then a homeopathic doctor until it finally went away. I always told myself I had a weak lower back but even at times when I was thinner or did sit ups my back would still hurt so being in better physical shape didn't help either. My back was okay for while but about 10 months ago one day I was in pain again. This time I couldn't walk far or stand for long without it hurting. I was pretty disabled. I went for an MRI and was told I had a bulging disc. I tried all non-surgical methods expecting them to work. After 9 months without getting better I thought of surgery. I found one doc that said he would do it, but luckily at the last minute I decided not to go through with it. Three other docs told me it would not help anyway so I gave up on it and started to doubt whether the disc was even my problem.

Then I heard about Dr. Sarno's book. Prior to that friends had suggested that maybe the pain was due to tension and emotions but I was not ready to hear that. Faced with permanent disability and defeat I was now ready. I believe in TMS but I am frustrated that my belief as not made the pain go away already. I want to be like others I've read about where it worked within days or a week. I've seen my pain move to my head and my hip and the other side of my back and also never fully leave the original area in my back. It has gotten better. But I am impatient and I tend to over analyze things, so I am trying to figure out all the emotions I am repressing and make myself feel them whenever I feel physical pain. Then when my pain doesn't go away right then, I want to get angry. But I don't think that Dr. Sarno meant that I should stay in that anger because the pain is brought on by repressed anger. I am not finding that useful. These attitudes of mine just bring about more stress.

But today I started the Educational Program on this site so hopefully I will be guided into a better way of dealing with the TMS. Comments are welcome....
Thanks for listening.

 

Hi Julia:

Welcome to the forum! This is what happened to my neighbor. She has a 3 year old and couldn't do a thing for her child. She laid on the couch everyday - crying - because she was in so much pain. She had the bulging disc as well, but wouldn't do surgery. She read Dr. Sarno's books, but it took her several months to regain her pain free life. She is the one who told me about Dr. Sarno's book. But for her (as with me) it didn't happen over night.

Yes. You will read stories of people who simply read the book and are "cured". But these stories are few compared to those who've worked on a program designed for TMS. There is a lot going on with our subconscious that we don't realize is happening. Habits of anxiety or fear of hurting ourselves again are common. I think you should go through the program and see where you are then. The SEP has many great exercises that can bring out these feelings and give us direction as to where they came from. A lot of times, the pain is a signal that we're overloaded. And reading the book isn't going to cure it. Reading can inform you a direction you need to go in. And doing the program here will give you giant strides into wellness. (I hope)

Go through the program with an open mind. Take all of it and then gradually weed out what doesn't apply to you. If the pain is moving already, this may be a good sign that you ARE getting it and it's going to take work on your part to see what is "you" and what isn't. Honesty - complete honesty - is a good way to approach the program.

I think you are in the right place at the right time. Good luck with the program and let us know how you are faring. Also if you have any questions - there is always someone here to help you.

BG

 

Thank you Beach Girl for your support and encouragement! I am so glad that I found this forum. I was feeling lost as to what to do next after having read the book and also not having anyone to talk to about it. Thanks to all who put together the Educational Program. I am looking forward to going through it.

I'm also going to check out the forum tomorrow, Saturday, from 3-4 pm EST. Have you been on those before?

 

Hi Julia!

Welcome! I'll probably write more tomorrow but I just wanted to say hello & welcome. I've been trying to go to the chat the last few weeks and it's great, so if you are on tomorrow, I will "see" you then.

Veronica

 

I have to work on Saturdays, but that will soon come to an end and I'll be able to attend the live chat. I look forward to that.

BG

 

Welcome, Julia! Defeating TMS is a real struggle but you've taken the first steps and you will get there.

I think you're on the right track with that last sentence. Being in pain sucks. Dealing with heavy emotions sucks. Doing both at the same time must be devastating. When I feel the pain start I talk to the pain, not my brain. Dr Sarno says that just seeing through the pain diversion is enough to weaken its hold. When your pain has lessened and you feel more in control and less exhausted then you can start working on the repressed emotions to make sure the pain goes away completely and doesn't come back.

I know exactly how you feel. I'm very impatient and I just want this done and finished already so I can get on with things! But it does take time. I really hope the program helps. Let us know how you're going.