Day 8 My intro and progress

Day 8 encourages me to make a brief forum post introducing myself. I intend to follow the program to the letter so here goes.

First of all, I admit that this post is a bit difficult for me. I usually don't communicate my health issues to my loved ones, let alone to total strangers. I usually suck it up, try to cope and take pride in not putting my burden on others. However, that strategy is probably part of why I am here in the first place to let's carry on!

I'm a 42 year old guy with a history of chronic leg pain, leg weakness and balance issues developing over the past 10+ years. The failing health of my lower body was easily explained in my mind. With two severely sprained ankle incidents and a femoral neck fracture that required two operations and a year of rehab, I am the guy who never fully recovered and therefore cannot do much sports activity. My inactivity could easily explain why my back hurt and why I had two episodes of debilitating lower back pain. The doctors, chiropractors, PTs and x-ray were all somewhat in agreement. My back was the culprit, it could explain most of what I experienced.

Two months ago I was at a low point. I had just stumbled over a door-step not able to lift my feet enough and with no reflexes or strength to prevent a hard fall. The weakness was now centered around my right side from top to bottom. I could not jump 1 cm on my right foot. I could not do 1 second of side plank on my right side. I could jump 1 meter standing on my left foot and do 1 minute of left side plank. I could wake up at night with pain, spasms, tingling and numbness in my right leg. My entire right side was literally at 30% of capacity and deteriorating. I started to doubt that my back could cause all these problems. Google told me that I was probably suffering from a neurological disease, probably Parkinson's. Fear was cranked up to 11. Never google your symptoms in a fragile state of mind...

Skip forward to today - I can't really recall why "the Mindbody prescription" ended up on my Kindle. However I gradually realize that this book is written specifically for me. I can start to clearly feel the correlation between my emotional state, stressors in my life and physical symptoms I experience. The past 7 days of Alans program has been enlightening, especially the journaling activities.

I am at the start of this journey. I am not sure where it will take me but right now I am full of spirit. For the first time in many years I have a positive outlook on my future health. I have a lot to add, but for now I wish you all good luck with your recovery.

 

Thanks for contributing and joining the forum. I believe a positive outlook will do wonders. If we believe things will never change it will only cause more worries and anxiety, adding to the vicious circle. I felt the same after reading the book. I feel enlightened, hopeful, and connected to others for the first time. Whereas a couple months ago I was in a very very dark place, without hope.

I just picked up Steve O's book and it's re-confirming what I learned, I think the more you read and watch on YouTube, the more you'll understand how important and helpful this process is. I skipped journaling a couple days, but that's exactly what the mind wants you to do to protect itself. Keep that in mind, but also be kind to yourself if you do skip a day.

 

I’m a newcomer too, not a narrative English speaker so sorry for eventualy mistakes in my writing. Reading dr Sarno’s Divided Mind and most off al many postings on this forum. I have never been a visitor on a forum but feel that I want to share this time because of all the nice comments I read.
Today, following day 8 of the SEP I wrote an unsent letter and feel so much anger to the person I wrote it to and sorrow to myself. That person died already and rational I can even give him credits for the things he did well. But deep inside I feel that he let me fall down and that hurts.
And now, what to do with these uncomfortable feelings? It is so very long ago....