Day 1 My Journey

I started reading Healing Back Pain by John Sarno on June 1st. Very quickly identified, confirmed diagnosis with Roger Gietzen (from list of practitioners here), watched All the Rage, Pain Brain, read The Way Out and started seeing a therapist at Pain Psychology Clinic. Since then I've canceled all physio and massage appointments, canceled my surgery appointment, stopped excessive daily stretching, stopped making doctor's appointments, canceled a radio-frequency ablasion, stopped using posture corrector and sleeping in specific positions with a special pillow.

Overall, I'm doing so much better than I was before. I was spending an exorbitant amount of time calling doctors and specialists, going to appointments, looking things up online, complaining to my girlfriend and most of all just feeling extreme rage towards the Healthcare system. Now I'm playing guitar again without pain, skateboarding without fear of falling, cycling, going to the gym, working more and my attitude is much more positive.

I'm not sure how to quantify my level of acceptance with the diagnosis. I suppose it wavers. Logically, consciously, when I'm feeling OK mentally and really think about it I'm 100%. Unconsciously I think it's less than that (is this ultimately what matters?) I struggle moreso with my level of confidence that the treatment will work for me.

Since I first learned about TMS I've experienced ups and downs. There have been 2-3 perios of maybe 1-2 weeks where I've felt maybe 80% better. Right now I'm in a slump that's been a week and a half. Back to near constant pain everyday. At least it's not affecting my mood as severely as it would have beforeand I'm not so fearful. I suppose I am...impatient and frustrated.

In the beginning I was spending several hours a day learning about TMS, then as I felt better started spending less time as I jumped back into my life, and thenwhen it got worse again I started listening to Nichole Sachs and doing Journalspeak/meditation every day. That led me into another period of feeling much better. Now I am trying this program, and still Journaling when I have the time and not when I feel I've gotten something similar out of this program. I'm also reading John Sarno's other books, have his 12 daily reminders on my fridge, and plan to keep reading and re -reading his books and others daily. Basically I spend about 30minutes to 2 hours daily doing some sort of work on TMS.

 

I think you’re onto something here. It was working. So stick with it! There will always be ups and downs.

 

The information is important. But if you want to get 100% 'healed' investigating the sources of your own anger is always gonna be the Prime therapy..however that comes about. This is caused by repressed anger and reinforced through conditioning.

That's good you dropped all of those placebo type of activities...but have you returned to YOUR favorite activities> That would mean skating I assume since your name is kickflip....working out , if that is what you did...basically everything you were doing before you got sucked into the system.

 

You are correct! I have been struggling with finding a good meditation to do after the JournalSpeak practice, so yesterday I bought a meditation from Nichole's website that is specifically made for after JournalSpeak.

I ended up having an almost totally pain free day, did a lot of physical exercise and made a big breakthrough in skateboarding!

 

Ya it was a bummer because my pain started after a particularly hard skateboarding fall, and my diagnosis of "pinched nerve + brachial plexus injury" actually lined up with how I fell. So a lot of doctors told me I should take a break from skating....which I kinda sorta mostly did for as long as I could (2 weeks?) and then skated very very carefully for a long time.

So although I never really stopped skating, once I accepted TMS I started skating again without the fear of injury, without worrying if I fell, and because of that without pain during or after.

 

In the 80's I had what was probably my worst skating accident followed by what was most certainly a TMS episode, though I didn't understand the 'order of operations' until I read Sarno 15 years later.

I was never that good of a skater. I was at Paramount skate ranch and slipped when I hit the tiles . I fell to the bottom of the bowl. Mind you, watch the order here...I am telling you about the FALL because I needed something to blame my SYMPTOMS on that began 2-3 days LATER.
I actually skated the rest of the day, went to a lake, partied, had a great time for the rest of the weekend.

When I got home, I woke up one morning and couldn't move my left side AT ALL...I had like partial paralysis..The doctor asked 'What happened'? and THAT is when I blamed the fall....see the peculiar chronology?

What I DIDN'T tell the doc was "I am a LOP...I work in manual labor jobs and skate and surf, have no idea what I am doing with my life and just spent the weekend visiting my friends in college who I was a WAAAAY better student then when we were in school, but they are in college and I pump gas and hang drywall" (RAGE, FEAR,SHAME)

I always tend to reach back in my minds for a 'reason' only after the symptoms come. I'm not saying this is what happened to you...I am just mentioning my tendency to blame stuff post facto.

Sarno's theory about 'triggers' is important...it explained why sometimes I had accidents with zero symptoms and sometimes much smaller incidents that triggered long treatments. It always had to do with what was going on in my life.

 

You are always good at spotting the reasons behind TMS episodes, and I’ve really learned from your examples.

 

This sounds awesome! So please tell me the details. How long do you journal. What’s the meditation called and where do you buy it? You are really doing great! An inspiration!