Day 3 My Relationship With Physical Activity

I have restricted my body's movements in fear of pain to the point where I am almost sedentary. I have slowly started introducing movement back into my body but there are so many walls up. I most recently have started stretching and walking around my neighborhood more. Walking makes me feel so great and alive and capable but I get sad when I think that I thought I couldn't even walk due to my pain and therefore didn't for several years. Recently I have felt some tightness in my neck while walking and am now associating this pain with walking, creating an atmosphere of fear. I am going to try to continue to push pass this feeling and know that the fear of the pain is the issue not the action of walking. But it is so hard not to get in your head about it and check in every 2 seconds on my walk to see where my pain level is at. I have been monitoring my pain for so long and relating movement of my body to pain that I am having trouble seeing how I can change that thought pattern. Any advice with this OCD type thinking would definitely be appreciated! I have this great image of myself without my pain, and I am healthy and in shape and strong. I want to be this so badly but it is so overwhelming to know where to start and not give up due to any increase in pain. I don't want to be scared of the pain anymore.

 

Hi Gray, I can't give you any advice as I completely relate & am going through the same thing! It's so hard to distract myself from the dread of pain, even if I'm feeling very little- the fear that it might increase. My pain, the more intense stuff, has " only" been going on for a few months, but I find myself constantly checking my pain level these days - definitely not helpful! Hoping someone logs in with some advice...hang in there

 

This is hard for sure. I mean, TMS is meant to occupy your thoughts and keep your attention on physical pain so you don't feel the "dangerous" emotions.

When you find yourself focusing on pain, try to just notice it without any judgement, and move your attention somewhere else in your body where there is no pain. It could be just how your toes feel in your shoes or how your breath feels expanding your lungs. This would equate to some sort of cognitive behavioral therapy. Learn about somatic tracking.

You do however also need to stop thinking about the physical all together more often, and tap into the emotional world completely. Get your ego to recognize your ID needs and tell the super ego to fuck off (Freud). Have you read any Sarno books like "The divided mind"?