My story - The journey of a broken boy to a man

Where to start when you nearly have to write a life story right!?

Maybe I'll touch on key points and anyone interested in finer details please respond and I will answer.

20- living best life. Nothing but dreams and living.
21- My brother is diagnosed with cancer, my abandoned father reappears to shake this up, my beloved grandmother passed, my sick brothers wedding is dampened by said father, my brothers biggest operation and his success destroyed by horrible words moments before he enters the theatre. Kid you not. My plans to move to UK (everything sold and flights booked), cancelled.

Months carring for him and carrying the stress of my whole family pilling up. Sense of overwhelm to stabilise my life and that of my family, the pressure my personal drive self created, the baggage of my life's problems unaddressed compounding, and then seemingly out of know where, incredibly debilitating back pain.

A snap. Very fast. Very relentless. Very reel.

I was breaking. You guys know this point well. The pit I call it. I felt stuck, depressed, broken and suicidal. I wish with all my might I could be there for myself back then. I really needed help and was close to ending it. Truthfully. I couldn't see a way out. I'm tearing up now just remembering that pain.

Now. For some positivity (eventually). Please read this again and again until it sinks in. Come back to this story.

At the complete bottom of despair, after going through all the methods of help. You know what I mean with all the docs, procedures, chiro etc. I was laying on day in bed in the middle of the day feeling broken, hopeless and crying in a room completely alone, physically and mentally.

I made a pact with myself. Knowing I had tried everything, if in 6 months of looking if I didn't find the path, I would end it.

Looking back now I admire that part of me so absolute on my resolve. I was powerful even in that moment.

Let me clarify. I was committed to either outcome. Make it or end it. Pick one I said. I admire that part of me.

Now this was rock bottom for me. Everyone is different and there degrees of such that will vary. If this story is triggering please understand this is my specific story, it doesn't have to be yours. Please don't ever give up.

After googling for the thousandth time (you can relate I'm sure) a thought popped into my mind. Maybe the system is broken and perhaps there's another way. This is when I found Sarno.

Now to clarify further and point out the work required here. I read everything and....only very minor reduction if any of my pain, if any.

Not the magic pill story I'm sorry. I'm the one in the book that didn't get the quick fix. It's taken years. I'm sorry if you hoped for a quick success story to help flip your situation. But I hope this real life experience helps those that needed to hear this sides point of account.

Probably not what you wanted to hear right? But it's the truth. This journey will shake up your entire identity and life. I didn't know this but this was just the beginning.

Now I can't write forever so I'll skip the specifics of the years of break throughs and major setbacks and flare ups. The journey is up and down, but still a journey to be cherished. Reply if you have questions.

I was broken at 21. Went from manual hard work to not even being able to walk to the bathroom. I was crawling out (literally) from that dark room I nearly completely broke down in.

Today I write this from my home in Australia. I'm 34 now, have 3 kids and work in a job I never thought possible. My job is insanely difficult mentally and physically. I blast rock for quarries up and down the east coast. Hardest labour I've ever done. So much pressure. Men look to me for leadership and the blasting license makes me accountable for all outcomes Crazy right!

Enormous amounts of pressure mentally, physically and a balancing act keeping my home and work life steady. These things don't ever go away. It's how I learnt to manage things that got me here.

Now while I don't have pain. Very rarely experience any set backs (years now). Life is always going to be hectic. I'm building the tools to make it through.

The point I'm trying to make is that each person's journey is unique. The work required is unique. The cure is so individual the only method to get there is an insane amount of work for those who aren't the quick fix stories.

Now like I mentioned above. I've left out the years inbetween. My kids are building a fort and need my help. Life calls.

I wanted to just quickly write this because recently I was noticed for my work efforts and promoted. The reflection process made me think of my journey. And the people (all you folks) that I can't help up while I'm in this position of solidarity and calm.

Pick your end goal. Make that solid choice. Visualise that reality. Mold the fabric to that image. It won't always work out but eventually it will. Change what you can and accept what you can't. Be that person to yourself that you wish would take care of you and lead you. Then, step up! Own it!

Reach out if you need to. I will endeavour to reply to all.

Please also understand as I wrote above, I'm incredibly busy. I will do my best.

I truly hope this helps even just one person.

As an Aussie says,

Take it easy

Tommy

 

Tommy,
Thank you so much for taking the time to share your story! Success stories mean so much. And you are kind to think of us who are still on the healing journey. I’m curious, when you talk about the insane amount of work you did, what are some of the strategies that helped you the most. And what do you still do today to maintain a pain-free life?

thanks again for your help!
Diana

 

Great story! So inspiring! I love these quotes.