Day 1 My TMS Journey

I have suffered for the past 5 years with chronic daily headaches and frequent migraines along with neck pain. About a year ago I found Abigail Steidley's program and I knew at that moment that I had TMS/MBS. I felt great relief and hope that I could finally heal. I then learned of Dr. Schubiner's program and read his book and started his program. However, each time I would dive into these programs I would be consistent for the first few weeks and then life would get busy and I would not make time. This has been my pattern for the past year. Despite believing 100% that I have this syndrome and also feeling better when I do practice the mindbody work I seem to keep self sabotaging by not staying consistent. I know that following a structured program and also commmitting to daily practice for the rest of my life is my pathway to healing. My struggle is that while I believe the diagnosis, I become fearful, frustrated and angry b/c I am in pain with some form of a headache all day every day. This pain does distract me from doing the work, but I know even if I can just do 20 mins each day this will lead me toward healing. In the end, I know and believe 100% that I have TMS and I know that I can heal ~ I just need to stay on track!

 

Hi Leslie,

I have the same pain as you, but it has been ongoing for 18 1/2 years. I only found Dr. Sarno back in February and started working Dr. Schubiner's book in May. I, too, am feeling that I am self-sabotaging myself. For one reason or another, whether it is a new symptom or increasing anxiety, I get sidetracked. I am sorry to hear that you are in pain with some form of a headache all day every day, but I know just how it feels because I am in the same boat. All day, every day...in the middle of the night in the wee hours of the morning, it is there. Just wanted you to know you are not alone. Hugs!

 

Hi Leslie,

I too had chronic headaches as my major TMS symptom so I can relate to what you are saying.

I'm gonna challenge you on this though:

Although the structured program on the wiki and the Dr. Schubiner book are great, you don't have to do those things to recover from TMS. TMS people like us tend to be highly driven and perfectionistic and this comes through even when working to recover from TMS. You might have the feeling that you are avoiding the work or that you have to do it a certain way, so you beat yourself up when you are not doing that. And that abusiveness we have towards ourselves is a big part of what is driving the TMS bus.

Maybe try shaking things up a little--take a break from the workbooks, etc. and just practice being kind to yourself.

Also, different things work for different people and it can be good to try one thing at a time. Maybe just work through Abigail Steidley's program first and then take a break for a bit before seeing if you want to do Unlearn Your Pain.

Structured programs of any type --not just TMS, even things like The Artist's Way-- have never worked for me. Yet I am pretty much pain free most days. And when I do have pain, it is becoming easier to see what emotions and thought patterns are behind it.

I am also a huge advocate of therapy, especially with a TMS therapist as it has helped me more than anything else.

 

Veronica ~ thank you so much for your message. I had not even thought about it that way before. I do in fact have that part that thinks "you must follow one of these programs in order to heal" this has really set me up to fail and feel frustrated~ and in the end it is just feeding this pain disorder. I am currently living in Ireland and the closest TMS therapist is outside of London though she does phone/skype sessions. I have done intensive therapy for the past few years, but I do think having more targeted therapy work with a practicioner who specializes in TMS could be really helpful. I am currently seeing someone here who is a CBT therapist so it is helpful as I am working on recognizing and changing my negative/self limiting beliefs. I would so appreciate hearing more about your journey recovering from headaches. Reading what you just shared really hit home for me in such a good way! It is so easy to have tunnel vision with all of this. Heaps of heartfelt thanks, Leslie

 

Thanks so much for your note. It is nice to know that I am not alone in this and that healing from this is possible. We are on the right path! Veronica's email really hit home for me and I feel huge relief knowing that I don't need to follow a program in order to heal...I can take what works and use it on a daily basis and practice being kind to myself....doesn't need to be so complicated! That is what I need to keep reminding myself! Good luck with your journey!

 

The first step was just knowing that TMS existed and believing that I have it. That step was about reading the Sarno books, the wiki, talking to my doctor.

I then found myself letting go of the structural beliefs and finding was to deal with the anxiety and obsession that popped up when pain left.

At this point, I'm mainly looking at how I repress emotions, discount my own feelings, and how I don't show compassion to myself.

It's a process, but we'll get there!

Hope you are feeling better today.