Day 8 My TMS treatment so far

Basically I haven't had much TMS treatment. After 5 years of chronic back pain I discovered Sarno's mind body prescription and reading reduced my pain a lot, like 95%. That was in 2015. I saw Dr Straiton in the UK who confirmed my back problems were most likely TMS given the symptoms and my personality and history. Since then I seem to have had some other problems. I got Rosacea not long after (cleared up now) I hear conflicting things on whether this is TMS or not.

At the beginning of 2017 I injured my ankle (ligaments) which never healed right. According to the foot specialist I have "tendinopathy". I think this is not TMS as its different from tendonitis but I'm keeping an open mind on that. At the back end of 2018 I had to have emergency surgery for a twisted testicle. Most unpleasant, though I think this was just bad luck and not TMS. In the aftermath of the operation, which was quite traumatic, I got IBS, my back started up again and I had something go wrong with my sight. Basically it's like I have very faint TV interference in my vision, not enough to affect how well I see things but enough to make me anxious that something is not right. This started at the same time as the IBS and back flare-up, so on the one hand I'm fairly convinced its TMS or stress related, but on the other I read online that this is an incurable neurological condition ("visual snow") so I'm quite scared.

So it brought me back to this Wiki, which Dr Straiton told me about in 2015. I didn't do the SEP then because my back pain had reduced so much that I felt I could get on with life without it. But these things keep happening to me and I'm starting to think I need to go through the programme now. I have family in the NY/NJ area so I plan to visit a trustworthy TMS Dr when I'm there too. I live in Germany and there aren't any possibilities here.

Another interesting point is that all my issues have flared up in the 4th quarter of a year, i.e. between September and December. Having read some of Dr Schubiners blogs I'm starting to wonder what the significance is of that. My parents went through the worst of their divorce during my childhood in those months. I also had a difficult time around those months when I started secondary school and also in my 20s. Maybe the TMS stems from one of those 3 periods.

More to discover.

 

And now the question to ponder: am I recognising the emotions causing the pain? It's still early days. The journaling is bringing up a lot of sadness and anger which I think I have buried and tried to ignore my whole life. But I still feel as though I need to do more before it becomes clear to me.

Oh and I did some journaling today. Man its both difficult and revealing. One thought in particular came up today. My parents divorced when I was 12 (I'm 38 now). Journaling today brought up the thought that I failed in keeping them together. That thought had literally never entered my head before in my entire life, maybe that's significant.