Day 8 my TMS treatment so far

I've been doing this structured education program, I've read Healing Back Pain and I'm reading The Divided Mind. The books seemed to have the most dramatic effect on my symptoms. The journaling is recalling a lot of buried pain and anger, and helping me reorganize the events of my life with a new perspective. I seem to have a couple of big triggers. One is a stressful situation that has been eating at me for years that I had to take care of. Basically I had to make a drastic change to a key relationship. A separation of sorts. Maybe all of this has helped me to find the nerve to handle that, which I did yesterday. Every time I had to interact with that person, I felt physical pain. The other big trigger is driving. I am really trying to extinguish the loop on that, and figure out why the car drives my body insane. I'm frustrated with it. I just can't figure out what it is that I'm angry or anxious about. What does it remind me of? Where is this coming from? :/

 

Hi George! I'm also on Day 8 of the programme. I've also found most relief reading the two Dr Sarno books you've mentioned. i bought them as audiobooks for my Kindle and my husband likes listening with me which is good as it's made him very supportive. It's good that you've been able to recognise your triggers. I know the stress that has led me to this episode, it was building up from a few things in my life (having to leave one of my favourite publishers, problems with my university going daughter and financial problems) but I'll be honest I'm not having a lot of progress journalling about my past. My childhood was very problematic with a mentally ill mother, poverty, a very abusive step mother and finally my father dying when I was 16 leaving me on my own. it sounds like a mine field of emotional stuff but I've spent a lot of my life thinking about it and talking about it. i don't feel it impacts a lot on me anymore, except in a positive way- I'm stronger for having gone through it. I really feel that my current pain is caused by a build-up of the present stresses, most of which have now been resolved, though my pain is still there. I'm not discouraged though. I know TMS is my problem it will just take time for my subconsious mind to set me free from its pain.

I think my other big problem right now is focussing on the pain too much. I am nearly bed ridden for the last month. I can walk a bit from one place to another but only to lay down again. I was swimming everyday but we're getting into winter here and the pool is very cold. I am fearful of my pain and since it is nearly constant it is almost impossible to ignore it. i try to distract myself with reading or watching TV which helps a bit. I also use affirmations saying- "this pain is not important" or "I am pain free" which helps a bit. But right now the obsession with the pain and the fear of the pain is my biggest problem.

 

I have realized through this program I have no patience. I think this is the perfectionism thing. I want to figure it out, get it done quickly and move on. When reading The Divided Mind I went to the chapter on Treatment, forget all that other stuff, just tell me the bottom line. Then Sarno says go back and start at the beginning....ok....

This process takes time. You are learning so much about yourself....be patient. I am reading Steven Ozanich's book The Great Pain Deception. He has worked with thousands of people. He estimates 6 mths to 2 years to heal. He says... the pain finally ceases because it's only when one stops focusing on the pain that the pain finally leaves.

I think you both are making great progress. Wow, George, you got rid of a major stresser in your life. George, My perspective is it has nothing to do with driving. It remnds me of having tailbone pain. The pain had nothing to do with sitting. Keep focusing on the psychological not physical . It will all start coming together. You can do it. Patience.....

 

I agree with Stella. Patience is key. 6 mos. to 2 yrs. sounds reasonable. One of the problems with all the "miracle book cures" is that they set up false expectations for people. Then people get frustrated and think there must be something wrong with them.

Fear of the pain getting worse has been my biggest problem. I know for certain that if I could just get rid of my fear I would heal much faster, but as LauriK says, it's tough to not be fearful and not focus on the pain when you feel it constantly. Balto on the other form said try letting go of fear for one week. One week! I could never do that! So I started slowly--letting go of fear for 45 minutes a day. I did that for about a week and then I added time. I kept adding time. I'm up to about 2 hours now.

I find that more I do these things the more confidence I build that the pain won't increase. That allows me to do more, and I actually find the pain decreasing. It's very slow going, though. I try to take it one day at a time and not think about "how much longer will it take?" Over the past 8 weeks I've gone from being able to take a 5-minute walk at the end of the day to a 25-minute walk. I'm still walking very slowly, but back in February I couldn't walk at all!

So please don't give up! Read all about TMS and find the things that resonate with you and do them. Lots of people recover by going full-force into all their old activities--I couldn't do that! Too fearful! When I tried I actually had a flare-up that set me back about 8 weeks. So I needed to find my own way.

I am learning a lot about patience.

 

Thanks Galnyc. I think I need to be like that, try to break it into small bits, not try to do everything at once. I am having improvement and I want to focus on that. Also I need to get my mind to understand that the more I fear the pain the more painful it is, I've observed this. That alone should lead me to not fearing the pain I would hope.