New phase: the anger phase

Lately I feel this anger brewing inside. My victimhood is melting. I see this as a war that I’m going to win—one way or another. Doing anything is hard, but now I don’t care. I’ve babied myself too long. Who cares why this has happened: it doesn’t matter anymore. I’m just pissed off, and I’m sick of living like this. Lately, I’ve been saying out loud, all day long, “Nothing is wrong with me!” And then, I stand up and proceed to DO THINGS.

 

Good for you! Keep it up and use baby steps but use that anger as your rocket fuel!
ps any more work on the book?

 

I thought you had had improvement with the workbook

 

Yes, still doing the workbook. I use what it has taught me to make myself face the pain and do stuff. Because, sooner or later I just have to do things. But symptom intensity has been fluctuating up and down since the workbook. I take this as a sign I’ve got my lizard’s attention.

 

Did you mean the Pain Reprocessing Workbook? Or the book I’m writing?

 

Writing!! I’m excited for you !

 

Ohhh didnt know you were writing a book thats cool.

 

YES!!! Let your TMS know who's boss!!

 

Thanks! ❤️I am finished, but I’m not sure the ending is quite right, so I’ve been giving it little time off and come back to it and see how it feels. I was working on it every day since June 27, and it really kept me happy and excited. I need to get back to it! I think there is enough story there to write a follow-up story.

 

I know it's become sort of a cliche, but the only way out is through.

 

I like to write novels as a hobby through the years. This summer I was so depressed and I was reading Claire Weekes’ book on anxiety, and she said you really need to be occupied with something so your nerves can heal. My hands are cramped so I can’t type. But I can write longhand. It turned out I liked it better than typing. It’s slower and more thoughtful. So I just started writing— no judgment, just fun. It’s a fantasy novel with dragons, trolls, wizards, shapeshifters, fairies, elves. I threw in everything. lol it definitely helped my spirits lift. It gave me a “job” to do besides sitting around thinking about TMS. I’m newly retired, so I needed something. I think doing what you love is good medicine. Maybe that’s what’s been wrong with me the last couple weeks, I haven’t been working on it!