Day 1 On board but still dealing with fear

Hi everyone,

Thanks so much for running this forum. I have been diagnosed with TMS by a Sarno-trained doctor in New York. I did one-on-one lectures with him about five weeks ago, and have been studying and journaling. I'm starting the wiki program because I would like to have more guidance, support, and affirmation in this process. I'm very hopeful but not quite there yet.

Some background: I started having bouts of sciatica in my teens, around when I was applying to college, and have been living with it for just short of ten years. Most days I would say my back was just stiff/ache-y. During an episode I was sometimes unable to walk more than a block without resting. Getting out of bed in the morning was the worst. I gave up running in high school, stopped wearing shoes without arch support, wore an SI-joint belt on and off, carried a backpack instead of a bag on one shoulder, and avoiding lifting heavy things, standing for a long time, sitting in mushy chairs, and sleeping on soft mattresses. I didn't realize how many accommodations I had made for the pain until I read The Mindbody Prescription.

And, I didn't realize how many other people experienced these symptoms. The doctors I had seen led me to believe that I was just about the only one. My reaction to this was frustration more than acceptance, but it was an isolating period, one that I think a lot of teenagers must go through, given that they are so young that most doctors have absolutely no explanation for their chronic pain.

This has been a year of transitions (I'm in my twenties now), and with that has come a lot of stress, resentment, sadness, excitement, and flat out confusion. And pain. I've realized that I need to take ownership of this problem and teach myself how to live without pain.

At this point I am re-reading The Mindbody Prescription and journaling for 20-30 minutes a day. I have been following my normal exercise routine, and working my courage up to start jogging. I am making some major decisions about my career, due on Monday, so these last few weeks have been unusually stressful, and I've had sciatic, psoriasis, dizziness, even caught some sort of flu. It's wild! But, I'm likely to be in stressful situations in the future, so I am hoping to learn how to deal with them without TMS flare ups, for the long run.

Anyway, looking forward to meeting you, and thank you so much again for the support and resources this site provides. It's already been a huge solace.

 

Welcome Tracy,
You are on the right path. This will be an amazing journey of learning about yourself and developing a variety of tools to help you with pain, anxiety and depression.

 

Tracy,
Sounds like your doing great!!!
I have dealt with sciatica; so I surely can relate to what you are saying.

I know one of the most important aspects for moving forward for myself was to put less attention on
the pain and think psychological. Fear would try to grip me as I worried about how I was going to
walk and do food shopping... Once I tackled the fear and stood up to it. Fear has so decreased and so has the pain.

I use positive affirmations when anxiety or worry tries to show their ugly head. This has really been a
life saver. I have also used visualization which I learned from Dr. Brady's book and Fred Amir's book.
This has been paramount in my recovery.

Everyone has a unique path for healing of the TMS. Sounds like you are well on your way.
G.R.

 

G.R. tell me how you use visualization. I am very interested.
Stella

 

Thanks, Stella and GR! Directing my attention in a productive direction is one of the main challenges, something I'm practicing.

 

Tracey,
Is Dr. Sarno still seeing clients? If so where is out of?
Can you tell us more about what he suggested to you? I am sure we can all glean from it.
G.R.