One singular action draining muscle strength?

I have been a member of this forum for quite some time. Most of my posts have focused on the physical aspects of functioning. This has been for two reasons. First, it was most important to me that I get my physical functioning back. Second, I just did not feel I could call myself down, and therefore I felt it was pointless to go down the emotional processing route. I am in a state now where I am starting to be more accepting. When all else fails, just accept. It’s hard to do, since I feel that there are stressors that caused me to get worked up, even though I don’t want them to. This being said, I have found it helpful at times to push through TMS manifestations. I spoke with a TMS doctor, and he said to me, FA body parts starts, hurting, rest it for a day or two. After that, those that are successful in the TMS approach will start using the body body part rigorously with the understanding that everything is fine, in order to show the nervous system that there’s nothing wrong. This technique works well, but only if I am certain that it will work well.

So, in short, this is sort of along the lines of one of those is it TMS posts. And frankly, I know that I need to get away from these types of posts, because wondering if something is TMS or not stressful in itself.

this is the situation situation, however. My manifestation of TMS is both fibromyalgia and MECFS. I am very weak, to the point that I am in a nursing home in middle-age. And someways, I can actually function. My arm strength is adequate. I can do dumbbell curls with a little bit of weight, and do a set of 10. My hands are very weak, though. I’m not sure what degree this weakness is due to TMS and into what degree it’s due to deconditioning. Right now, aside from the present issue, it seems like my stress induced symptoms are not very bad, so I’m thinking that the weakness I’m experiencing might be in fact due to deconditioning. To give you an idea how weak my hands are, I had to rest for about an hour after showering today before eating lunch. It’s very difficult to squeeze a tube of toothpaste to brush my teeth. I’ll use a tool to push down on the lid of cream to dispense it, as my thumb doesn’t have much strength to do this. I can only write a few words at a time. anyway, the issue that I have is not being mentioned just as one of hundreds of other issues I get with TMS. I mentioning this because it seems to represent an entire class of problems that I get occasionally. If I can tell myself that it’s safe to push through such thing, I will. and then maybe this won’t be such a problem. So, on occasion, I will use a muscle to appoint a very high exertion, often without realizing how high the exertion is going to be before the action. In such situations, I have not fully engaged musculature to the extent that I otherwise would. To clarify what I am saying, this afternoon, I was sitting in a steel chair. I moved the chair with my left hand, thinking the chair was far lighter than it actually was. The chair moved, but instantly it felt as if I was lifting an absolutely tremendous amount of weight with my arm. it became painful, a little tight, there was a little bit of tingling, but most of all it’s just completely drained. It feels drained in the way that ones arm would feel if they were to go to the gym, and massively work the arm. I know perfectly well, but I did not injured my arm. This is beyond question. My question is, and I don’t know if any of you have ever had TMS presenting as mine is with me, I really have significantly worn my arm out. It was my plan to do some light arm exercise later today, but now I’m thinking I might just let it rest for a day or two, at which point I know it will calm down. oh, this is not a tragedy. I will be seriously curtailing use of the arm for a day or two, and then everything should normalize. The issue, is that I feel that I’m giving into TMS potentially. I feel that my arm might not actually be as devoid of strength as it feels it is, and maybe I should just go ahead with the exercise this afternoon. What are your thoughts on this ?

to reiterate, I’m certainly trying to be more focused on the emotional aspects of my situation. I’m really trying to accept where I am in life, and to be grateful. When I read these suggestions, initially, they sounded as if they would potentially be nice, but ultimately not have much of an effect and healing TMS. I realize now that these two actions are probably more important than anything else in the condition. Being worked up all the time does my system no good at all. Thanks as always

 

My personal thoughts are full of tough love.
Until you can deal with your internal emotional stress and commit to doing TMS work, you are going to be continually obsessed with minutia like the feeling of one muscle.
You have to do the work, and for you, it means committing to completing a program since your mind is so fearful of actually knuckling down and getting off of the obsessive physical focus. We’re not here for that. We’re not here to tell you what to do - part of your journey is taking back your own power, but by bit and recognizing as an adult you just decide to do things or not. Experiment, confront your fears. No, it’s not easy but you must if you want to heal.
We’re here to support you but not here to get into TMS mind games. They are like a hamster on a wheel, and get you nowhere. Seriously, are some sensations in your arm going to kill you? What harm are they truly doing?
Now look at what harm not doing anything has done? Closing up, not moving, fearing?
It’s good you are slowly recognizing how much your brain has pushed away the emotional, but it’s not just your current emotions. These are lifelong habits you developed to cope, and they aren’t working now.
You have to recognize the lifelong stuff, confront it, and know you’ll be ok dealing with it. The pre-occupation with the physical, the fear, the thought circles, the trying to figure out and fix the physical are all just TMS - and they will remain until you can commit to doing the work.
You don’t have to 100% believe, you just need to start.

 

If we never “gave in” to TMS we wouldn’t be here in the first place.

Have you ever listened to Claire Weeks on YT? She’s gone now but her books and teachings live on. She has a wonderfully dramatic voice I find very charming. She focuses on anxiety which I imagine for you is related to being worked up. Heads up, she uses some old timey phrases like “nervous illness” for anxiety and speaks from an old timey era gone by.

 

Thank you for replying. I did not check back until now, because I was actually rather ashamed and embarrassed at what I had posted. I think I am so focused on the physical because it, at this extreme stage, is limiting my ability to engage with the emotional. my lack of physical ability keeps me isolated, which seems to perpetuate my stress. And also prevents me from doing some physical activities, which would help her alleviate tension. I went through a period of about half a year during which I gained quite a bit of physical ability, but as a result of massively stressful events for the past few months, I’ve lost quite a bit of it. I find myself far more isolated than usual, and I seem to be stuck in a cycle on which things perpetuated each other. I understand that you are not professionals, and that you are responding to people out of the goodness of your hearts. I’m grateful that such a a webpage exists. When I confront the reality of how long it will be before I regain physical functioning, it’s absolutely daunting. I’m trying to look at this head on. When I find myself lying in bed, and trying to meditate, it’s hard to think that I’m likely going to be in the state for many months before my body has the strength to allow me to get to less stressful existence that wouldn’t include, going out to dinner, etc. So it’s not to give out too much personal information, I won’t mention the specifics, but my situation at the nursing home is going to change radically. I kind of wish it had just changed rather quickly, instead of dragging on for months. The stress has been profound. All I can do is try to accept what is. I’ve looked at various tools to help me do this better, such as ketamine, psilocybin, etc. I’ve heard of some people having good luck with these things, but part of me thinks this is again, just looking for an external answer. At the end of the day, these tools, even successful, just show me what I need to work on . I don’t know that I necessarily need drugs for that. One thing I have wondered is if my SSRI is preventing me from getting in touch with my emotions, and therefore healing. Blunt emotionally, and I have been attempting to taper off of them for years at this point. I figure I have another year to go before I’m off of them completely. Some people claim the SSRI have prevented them from healing work, others have said they don’t make a difference in regards to healing from TMS. Frankly, I don’t know. Anyway, thanks again. And best of luck with your journeys as well

 

Just a few notes because you have already received great guidance from others here.

Rather than thinking and believing with so much certainty that it will take a great deal of time to get back to being physical, how about acknowledging that you have been physical before, and believing you will get there again? It takes as long or as short as it takes.

Are there any opportunities at the nursing home for you to volunteer in any way just as you are? Does the home by any chance have a program with visiting dogs? Are there any social situations that you can join exactly the way you are? Surely there is some kind of entertainment or bingo, or religious service etc etc. Do you take meals in your room or join others in the cafeteria? You do see what I'm getting at. You can choose to be a participant and engage your mind in something other than your physical state of being.

I wish the best for you. I know you are hurting badly and I'm so sorry for that. Just remember strange and wonderful things happen. Years ago in my 30s I became close with an older couple in my apartment building who were like a second family to me. For as long as I had known them, the gentleman was in a wheel chair. Then, one day when he was in his early 80s he got out of the chair and began walking with a cane for several miles a day in Manhattan. I have no idea how this came about. I'm not sure he did either.