outcome independence

I can't even start to talk about how much emotional work i've done during this go around with TMS.
I decided to go back to my fab therapist. And after learning (on this forum!! thank you!!) about Nicole Sachs' "journalspeak" program, have been writing for 20 minutes every morning followed by 10 minutes of quiet sitting.
I really came into this TMS session thinking "I have no idea what's wrong - everything is my life is great - stressful but great." Well now, thanks to therapy, journaling and meditation, I realize that i was carrying around a lot of anger, fear and GARBAGE. It's no wonder that I am in so much pain!
Even if I never get over this pain (and it's bad - I'm limping around) I stil have been able to come to a place of honesty and that place is so much better than being avoidant and scared and sad.
After my morning journalling session today, I decided that I had faced my demons for the day and that I was going to go out and find JOY! That even if I have pain I can still have JOY! And it worked. I was joyful.
GRATITUDE!

 

Hi srton,

By emphasizing your inner healing, and knowing the beauty and satisfaction in this, you are putting the focus in the right place, in my opinion. This puts less pressure on you to find "pain relief," which in turn creates less inner tension.

The growth of inner honesty, including recognizing its deep value is a life-long gift to yourself. It may begin to have a palpable sense in your body --if it hasn't already. It also becomes a gift to everyone around you. Truth becomes important.

I also hope that as you find the "garbage" you forgive yourself for the human condition, and "conditioning" which all find ourselves in. All the places we fool ourselves and others, and all the ways we habitually hide developed as ways to survive and feel loved.

I think there is something of strength and freedom in what you're experiencing, and that this may be directly related to allowing more truth. I am happy for you.

Andy B

 

Hi @srton!

I listen to Nicole’s podcasts and they help me a lot as well!
How funny and surprising it is when you think the life is good but when you’ll go deeper with your journaling you realize what is rotting inside.
I went through the same thing and working every day as Nicole said, I’m going through SEP, read Steven’s book and watch YouTube lectures about TMS and finally today I have one of the best day in at least 4 months!
I finally believed that I can do it and the pain will go away.
Like Nicole said, just do the work and I promise you’ll be ok. Her confidence and honesty is so powerful that I can see myself recovering completely! I don’t care if it’s tomorrow, next month or next summer, I know I’ll happen.
I’m so happy you’ve found the joy and peace.
Keep the work, the best part is always ahead of us!

Cheers to you!!!

 

Outcome independence has been one of the most helpful things in my recovery. I'm just doing my life whether or not there's pain and some days I'm totally pain free and other days there's some pain, but I'm just choosing to not focus on if there's pain or not and just doing my life and I've had steady improvement over-all, even with the ups and downs. Just do your life and enjoy!