Day 9 Overly Critical of Myself

The question to ponder today is: Have I been overly critical of myself lately? How and Why?

I really jumped all over myself this week when I found out through the grapevine that a friend of mine had hurt her back (TMS I think), couldn't work, and needed rent money. I had missed her where we usually see each other, and had forgotten to call to check on her, which I usually do. I felt like such a failure as a friend and started to really beat myself up. I seem to expect myself to "be there" for people no matter what, with no human lapses.

But the good news is that thanks to what I'm learning here, I was conscious that what I was doing to myself was unreasonable and hurtful. I told myself that she has lots of other friends besides me, and that she would never hold it against me for not calling. Even if she did, that wouldn't be fair. When I got hold of her, she was better and a family member had helped with the rent. Other friends had taken up a collection to help her out.

I realize that there is a part of me that wants to be "the best" at being a friend. It's embarrassing to admit, but if it eventually helps me hurt less, it's worth it!