Day 9 Overly Critical

In a previous post, I was describing myself, and I said I didn't think perfectionist described myself. Baseball65
(I don't know how to link user's in this thread/forum) said IT IS the correct term.
I want to add more to this discussion, because I think it is a big emotional part of my life.
I think I have contradictory traits or mentalities that are constantly battling with each other in my mind. Many times I can think of hobbies, schoolwork, etc. that I have very much had a, "screw it" that is good enough approach. But eventually, I face the repercussions of that attitude, and I have extreme frustration/anger/disappointment/GUILT in myself, that what I did is NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
Again, maybe this is Perfectionist behavior. There are other aspects of myself, where I definitely acknowledge or identify as having what I think of as a classic perfectionist mentality.
I'm not sure why I'm harping on this, but I finished journalling a bit ago, and it was about guilt that I have felt my entire life over receiving any help, especially in the form of money, from my parents. My father was unemployed for a few periods of time during my childhood and I distinctly remember my brother telling me that for the first time, and that I couldn't ask for any big Christmas gifts. I am guessing I was around 7 or 8?
Ever since then, I felt such guilt whenever I would get school clothes, gifts, etc. I developed significant guilt/shame over materialism in general.
While I have acknowledged it in past, I am really becoming aware of GUILT being a major emotion in my life. One that I have not faced head on, but instead often just making jokes about Catholic Guilt, etc.
This is not directly addressing today's prompt, but I wrote in my journal, that I want to start giving myself love instead of the shame and negative feelings.
I am going to work on acknowledging when I have these feelings, without judgement, and then try to say goodbye to them. I'm ready to stop beating myself up so much.
Thanks.