Patience is so difficult!

Dear all,
Some of you might remember my struggle with bladder and urethra pain. For ages I have been told by doctors that there was nothing wrong with my bladder. And I believed in it. I believed in the diagnosis of psychosomatic pain /TMS/Mind-body disorder ... whatever you want to call it. I just had always periods of pain. I then went to a doctor in London and he diagnosed me with an embedded bladder infection and mast cell activation disorder. Whether I have mast cell activation disorder is not absolutely certain, but it fits so well to all of my symptoms and explains a lot.
Is this in contradiction to TMS. I don’t think so. Mast cells are activated by stress. This explains perfectly why stress can induce inflammation in the body. The embedded infection might just bad luck. There seems to be a correlation between those having mast cell activation disorder and embedded bladder infections.
Now I am taking antibiotics, just have finished the second course (twice two weeks). And have pain again. I have to be patient. I know. But it so difficult. And I don’t stop my ‘TMS work’. I just learned that I expected way too much of myself, careerwise. It is a strange feeling to accept that the ambition I had will not be fulfilled. I have a good career, despite the fact that I quite often have periods of pain. This is in itself an achievement, I start to realize. I am not as good as I could - the perfectionist is telling me. So, here some work has to be done.
In the beginning, when I went to this doctor I felt as if I betrayed the TMS approach. But the longer I though about it, the more did I realize that I simply do what I think is the best for me. There are often post that ask whether using medicine, surgery or physiotherapy is allowed? In my opinion it is allowed, sometimes even necessary if it contributes to your overall healing.

 

Time2be
Heal as you can, your body first if need be, (with antibiotic if needed,) and trust that your thought patterns will come along for the ride. Our brains and neurons are remarkable. So if your healing comes from an antibiotic healing the infection, then so be it. You still understand the root of all of this discomfort so your TMS work is n0t really ended, but rather is now part of who you are and your complete recovery. You will do well with this understanding and I believe this acceptance.
Kindly
Lainey

 

I appreciate the gentleness of both your post Time2be, and Lainey's response. I feel relaxed reading these. Thank you.

 

Thank you so much Lainey! And also Andy! Your reactions are comforting. To be honest, I need to write her some times, otherwise I feel a bit lonely with all this. My family and closest friends are understanding to a certain extend. But I cannot expect that they understand how it feels to have this struggle all the time - and yes, I am gentler with myself, but still, it is a kind of a struggle ....