Pelvic, Pudendal, Low Back Pain. Recognize it for what it is.

Hello. I posted the below to another member who was hoping to find success with nerve issues. Another member suggested I post in Success Stories, so here it is. I'm happy to do this as the success of a member named Carolyn, on the other site, really helped me to believe in healing for myself.

I still have an achy low back and sometimes the tension of my current schedule will manifest in the same way along the pudendal nerve or anal tightness/spasms. So, I journal. I console myself. I accept that it is what it is…and it fades away. (I also want to note that Dr. Sarno and others have observed through the decades that pain manifests in ways that are trendy (for lack of better word). During the 60's, ulcers were what everyone had. Once the universities turned out numerous back surgeons in the 1970's and 80's, suddenly there are record numbers of back injuries diagnosed. These are just two examples, but it helped me to realize that there is a current and massive increase in pelvic pain clinics popping up. To me, this is proof. There are many pissed off women and men who don't have time to face their emotions…at the BASE values of our lives. It also helps to remember that most medical professionals feel pressure and obligation to give you a diagnosis. They need it for their charts and most patients demand it so they have a way to label their pain. This does not mean it's true.

As you read this below, please know that I'm a person who has manifested quirky pain syndromes most of my life. Many of them were things that couldn't be diagnosed, or lacked a true treatment (MddS 4x's, TMJ, Tinnutus, etc.) I'm grateful for Dr. Sarno and all other current mind/body/TMS professionals who are supplying the courage we need to tell ourselves the truth.

Blessings to anyone reading this. Have hope. Trust your TRUE intuition, not the "grasping for help" side of you. Remember that you are strong because you are functioning still with sorrows and pain that would make others give up. Don't. If you're reading the success forum, then you're pulling open the door to light and a new life. Go for it.

Here is what I wrote to the other member.

I had 5 months of pudendal nerve pain, pelvic nerve pain, and also low Back Pain, which made it hard to sit at my desk and work. Or, sit anywhere for that matter.
Of course, googling the type of pain scared the life out of me, with the horror stories of people only getting worse. The more I read things, the more symptoms I got myself. Honestly!

I will confirm this for you. I decided to accept 100 percent that my pain was psychological.
I would feel the pain but say things to myself like, "I know you're in pain and I'm going to take care of you emotionally. I hear you."
I know that sounds silly, but women tend to not listen to their own emotional needs. So, I would write down anything that came to me, whether it was painful emotions from my childhood or an aggravation in my day. I also started to move around and go for walks and meet out with friends. I resumed my life. I let myself be distracted.

My pain faded away. I'm fine. You will be fine, too. First, accept that it is 100 percent psychological. This is the most important factor.
Stop looking for physical cures. Don't ask other people about similar pain. Don't google or look for specialists, etc.
And, start to let yourself know that you will put your emotional needs first, no matter what they are.
At first the emotions may feel extreme or like opening a can of worms, but then it all balances out.
I don't know any women that don't have a certain amount of buried anger and hurt. If you made it to adulthood, chances are good that you have some.

You can heal. But first accept that the cure is psychological.

I'm cheering for you.

 

I forgot to add this in to the original post, but this was also crucial to my feeling better. I began to disregard my own "superstitious" beliefs, which can pile up quickly when seeking a cure. For example, I would have thoughts like: "If I sit this way, it will trigger more pain." "If I don't take this supplement, at this time, I will feel bad." "I have to be careful to do this or that." All of this "jinx" type of thoughts is sending the message to your mind that they are true. It's a trap. Our minds want to cling on to these superstitions. Always. Just posting my success story, my old thought patterns rose up to say, "Now, what if you have a big setback????" Scary stuff. But so elementary in a way. Our internal bully will always be heard first, unless we silence him by listening to our emotions and being okay with whatever we feel.

 

Thanks for posting your story here. It's really inspiring that more and more pelvic pain success stories are emerging. I have sent you a private message. Hope that's ok

 

I have IBS-C and Levator Ani syndrome - horrible, both of them - and this is very helpful for me too. The hardest bit as you mention is not to google the symptoms whenever I get a flare because I can get quite panicky at these times with the pain and discomfort. And then I start thinking, if I take this supplement or that probiotic will this prove to be the magic bullet. And of course it wont't. I follow the normal health rules (diet, exercise etc) and that's all I need to do on that level. The key factor is that this is a MindBody issue and I have to do the work and let go of the timing of the eventual result.

 

Dear Westb, I sent this to a member in a private message, but thought I'd leave these thoughts here for you, as well.

Then, I thought logically. If a woman can push a 6 to 10 pound baby through that area, after she has walked around for quite a few months with the extra weight on that area…and she doesn't have nerve problems…well, then that nerve and area must be made to handle that kind of pressure and movement. I told my brain: My pain is caused by tension and muscle tightness. Only a shift in my thinking will help. No doctor, no medicine, no supplements.

This is the exercise I added in that has been increasingly wonderful. I squat down as low as I can go and stay there for a minute. Then, I do it again two or three times. Women in the third world countries all squat down to do almost everything. It naturally tones, stretches and strengthen the pelvic floor area. It relieves the pressure naturally. Once you squat down, just breathe, and then see if you can let your bum sink even closer to the floor. I can't squat without tipping backwards, yet, so I actually hang on to a sign post, or a heavy piece of furniture so that I don't fall over. haha.

 

Sara, wondering how you are. I have thought of you today. Sending good wishes.

 

That's lovely of you to think of me How are you?

I'm having a lot of ups and down because it feels like every time I get into tacking my TMS 100% or have a good day, I get thrown off course by a resurgence in symptoms or it spreads to a slightly different area which has me breaking my 'Google ban' and 'just checking' for a structural explanations... using up what little free time I have after I've wrangled the kids into bed for the third or fourth time, and should be doing something helpful like journalling or relaxing! Or I read a success story and they mention a book, so I must read that book! I know what my stumbling block is - it's 100% accepting this is TMS as there are just so many 'pelvic pain conditions' that you would have to see 20 doctors to have them all ruled out which is simply not practical. I just need to get some momentum going and some small victories so I can build confidence int he diagnosis.

Your story and messages are a great encouragement to me

 

Did tinnitus also faded?
thanks

 

Marlo, The tinnitus comes and goes with stress. Diet helps on that one. Cut the caffeine to one cup in the morn. Let go of sugary foods.
Rub around your ears vigorously. They need circulation. It is TMS, because the stress slows the blood flow to those outer areas, like ears. Mine does reappear with stress. So, just call it TMS, not a damage. Best to you.

 

Hi, once again today I was experiencing increased pelvic burning and I turn to the forum for words of encouragement. Thank you for posting your success story it gives me more hope that one day I will conquer this condition among others that I have. This one is the worst. I can't sit, lie, stand or walk without the burning. Unfortinately I only recognise one emotion which is a heaviness in my stomach, a feeling of sadness. I have tried shouting at my brain, telling it to stop this physical pain because I know it is just a distraction from the repressed rage within me but it doesn't work! I will now try to speak more gently to myself and give myself more compassion. I hope one day I will be able to post a success story myself.

 

You can do this. I had success with that and then a couple months later have had a bout of shingles that went down my right arm. This has been a challenge, still, 5 weeks later. I understand the anger at yourself. I feel this way about "letting myself" come down with shingles and the excruciating pain involved, especially after feeling I had found a path and relief from pelvic pain. I'm still applying the Sarno techniques to this shingles pain because it would be hard to find someone who had shingles who didn't say they were stress and anger related. I'm certain mine are…and this lingering nerve pain…is a sign of the rage that didn't get dispersed. I know if I can post a success story, you will be able to, as well. I have had to keep a check on my thought process through this: to acknowledge my emotions, but not obsess about the pain or the emotions. Let's keep telling ourselves that every emotion, even the small ones, can build up to overwhelm. I know I was resistant to looking deeper. The stomach is an interesting place to "feel" your sadness. Ask yourself, what's under the sadness? Stomach = nourishment, fullness, comfort, puke, gas, digest. What can't you "stomach" anymore? How are others not giving you comfort or nourishment? Just some ideas. Thanks for writing to me.

 

Bless you for your quick reply. I am so sorry you are now suffering with shingles. Yes you are right again it is a stress related condition. I had it 8 years ago and it hit me in the same area as where I am burning now. I don't know if it was the same nerve, my GP did not say but I had been experiencing a great deal of stress at the time. Even though I know this is TMS (as I have other TMS symptoms, IBS and myofascial pain) I still harboured little doubts that perhaps I could have a sensitive nerve. The awful thing is that all this intensified when writing memories of my parents (an exercise I was given by my TMS therapist) it is pointing to events that happened in my childhood that have obviously had a big impact on me. It was hard coming to terms with that as we do take things in our stride when we are young and I didn't realise that these events had caused me so much hurt and distress until I started to write about them. It made me feel I wanted to stop and do as Howard Schubiner says " let issues in the past go they they happened a long time ago and they are over now" (I have his meditation CD). I practice mindfulness/meditation every morning plus Howard's CD in the afternoon and I journal when I get "feelings" I also manage two half hour walks a day sometimes I struggle around. At present I am using small ice packs to help with the burning (my therapist thought this a good idea) it helps temporarily but the burning soon returns.
Forest, Sarah and Stella have also been a big help to me and I am trying to follow all the advice and encouragement I have been given. I still keep looking for other people's experiences hoping to find another solution to follow.
My thoughts go out to you and I will send compassionate wishes to you at the end of my mindfulness. I do hope you fully recover from shingles and continue to improve generally again. God Bless you.

 

Im facing this particular issue at the moment with the pudendal pain, ive had the pain for 3 months including lower back n leg pain. Youre right, there are so many horror stories about pudendal neuralgia! In my heart i dont think it exists, how did you start the healing process? This particular "pudendal pain" hasnt been diagnosed but i have symptons of this.

 

Hi Anisha, It's interesting that you wrote this week. I've had a bit of pudendal sensitivity this week. The symptom imperative (Sarno). I'm telling myself, "Okay, I hear you." And, it has gone back away.

I'm still TMS'ing with some arm, hand nerve pain from post-Shingles. This one has been more of challenge because I SAW the actual shingles on my arm. But, I still think even Shingles is a mind-body syndrome. Why? Because, even when I read about nerve pain on Western medical sites, most Dr's conclude that this happens to patients who are sensitive or stressed. Also, the prescriptions doctors want to write for nerve pain don't correct the nerve. They mask the pain in your brain. So, it is a brain/mind issue. This tells me that doctors don't truly believe that nerves can be impinged or damaged without an actual accident or injury.
Stop reading about any of it online. Dr. Sarno talks about when ailments become "popular." Pelvic and Pudendal pain is subconsciously popular right now. I believe it has to do with women being so hard on themselves. Where else to punish yourself than your female organs/genitals? Pelvic pain clinics are opening at an alarming rate now. Can you imagine these being around in our mother's time? I hope this makes sense.
Also, if our nerves were so easy to be entrapped or damaged, don't you think women who have given birth would have permanent damage after pushing out 8 pounds and perhaps ripping or being cut?

Remember that doctors and people are going to come up with "solutions" or "reasons" why you have this. That doesn't mean it's true.
How I started and what I tell myself now, still, is this: "I'm 100% willing to believe that this is a mind-body issue." Even if you can't do anything else, do that.

Then, go outside or somewhere and walk. And, as you walk tell yourself "let go. Let the pelvic floor relax." Then, truly do let the thought go, too. And, force yourself to look at other things. Leaves, fences, dogs, clouds.

Most important though, is to stop reinforcing your fears and worries by reading the "doomed" reports online. You won't find answers there.

Best to you.

 

Anisha, I just realized that you are new to the forum. Welcome. I hope you can read Dr. Sarno's books. Some are on audio recording too. That will help you understand the process and mindset. This is a good forum to look around on and the moderators have wonderful guidance and suggestions.
Marcia

 

I am in complete agreement with you! And im glad i found this forum, i sure do not want to go downnthe like of pointkess injections and nerve bkocks for something which orobably doesnt exist! No wonder the surgeries are so expensive because they shouldnt be afforded because it doesnt really exist My belief anyway. Yep im reading the books and journaling. One of my fears is that the pain will get worse and full on "pn" typical before it gets better. Atm i have mild pain. But read so much nonesense online and my anxiety is fearing the worst eeeek

 

@Anisha_d87 , @Abbo, @Sara pls listen to this interview on pelvic pain. Abigail Steidley who once suffered herself is interviewing Dr Schubiner on the subject & it's great to hear how he thinks y
This kind of pain is TMS.

https://vulvodyniacoach.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/schubiner-interview1.mp3

 

I understand. I get very entrenched in fears of pain never going away. I'm going through it now with this arm pain. But, I know that fear perpetuates fear. I've had anxiety, especially at night. I do believe in the law of attraction…because it works both ways. If I look up western medical stuff and read what people write on those pages, I get terrified. My fears then go into more painful symptoms, because I can be very impressionable. Then, I literally "impress" on myself the things I don't want, like more symptoms, etc. You've already educated yourself plenty on what the western medical people say about PN. You don't need to know anymore from their perspective. And, getting it diagnosed by a doctor isn't going to change anything for the better, either.
Once I was completely willing to accept that it was psychological…it faded away. Took about 10 days or so.

My 90 year old mother practices TMS healing without even knowing it. She was telling me that when she doesn't feel good, she ignores it and gets caught up in her genealogy or a good book and then she realizes she forgot about it…and it's gone. (thought this might amuse you.)

 

Again i agree with you and thank you for your response, i wish there were more tms therapists in the uk, im getting married next week to my partner of 3 years and im anxious to be intimate as i havent been since my pain which only begun in January. I guess i need to forget about the label "pn" and be grateful that i have been led to tms before suffering for much longer

 

Anisha, I saw you also wrote on facebook group about your situation ( I don't write much there). I'm 2+ years in this pain and I totally get it. Don't try to put more pressure on you with the wedding and being intimate. Wedding is supposed to be the one of the most beautiful days in your life and try to enjoy it. Also, don't try to put pressure on yourself being intimate with your partner. When you're ready to try again you will know it and your partner should understand that. Try with SEP program and meditation. It's hard at the beginning but you will get there, we all will. You just have to believe it's going to go away eventually. Forget about ''PN'' and try to stay away from the horrible stories since many people don't understand that it's not a structural problem. Also congrats on your wedding and try to have fun