Day 29 Personality traits

I have found exploring our own personality traits very useful. Up until this program, I had never given much thought to this area of myself except for the generalities people tell you. Discovering my own traits that match the typical TMS sufferer, has helped a lot. And then stepping further into that realm and seeing how these personality traits may have negatively affected my life has been useful.

I have been called passive-aggressive in the past by family members, and summarily rejected the idea. I now know it to be true. Not the end of the world, but true. After thinking about it further, it probably stems from never having being given the tools or language to express my emotions or frustrations, as they arose. I was loved but the message was clear, don't complain because many others have it worse. I can appreciate the moral, but we do need to learn to express our disappointment with others and situations in a way that is clear but not impatient or overly assertive. I have started paying attention to what others say when they feel neglected or unhappy and hope to learn from it. I have been acting out, versus just expressing myself. I know I don't have the language for it, but it is out there and I can probably learn pretty quick.

Interesting enough, when people have issues with me I am completely open and willing to compromise. For myself, another story.

 

This has been the most enlightening thing for me as well... my own personality traits and how they affect me and those around me. As I said to my husband this weekend, I thought was was really strong but the truth is that I'm just a very good repressor. What I thought was strength was just my ability to bury my true feelings. Quite the revelation.

 

Thanks Marian. This is a journey, but worth pursuing.

 

Exploring our personality traits is a great technique for TMS healing, and Dr. Sarno encourages
us to do that. Most of those with TMS symptoms have perfectionist and/or "goodist" personalities,
wanting to please everyone. That can cause us and our loved ones a lot of stress.

My best friend is a perfectionist's perfectionist, and so is my present boss, a book publisher.
I love my friend despite it, and tolerate the boss. He used to stress me a lot but I've learned to
please myself instead of him, by pacing myself with all the work he wants out of me,
and by making sure he is SPECIFIC about what he wants, so I don't have to re-do the work.

We have to find ways to adjust our personalities so we are happier and healthier for us to live with ourselves.