POSITIVE CHANGES- Day 33

I have had lots of positive effects from realizing that I have TMS and following the SEP program. I am on Day 33. My lower back pain(herniation), inflamed hip(torn labrum) and groin pain is the best it has been in a long time. Some days i dont have any pain at all. Sometimes, I get a flare up, and it usually doesnt elevate the pain above a 3 and it is short lived.

I am working out harder than ever too. Usually I would work out half as hard and be inflamed and in pain for a few days but I havent really experienced much of that lately. It has allowed me to get in pretty good shape right before my big 40th birthday party trip to Puerto Rico next week. I am actually looking forward to the trip instead of just acting like i am looking forward to it.

Besides physical pain, which usually accompanies me right before a vacation, I would have alot of anxiety. Journalling and reading in this program have really helped me dig deep into some ingrained emotional feelings that I have suppressed for decades. I look forward to journalling every day..I have over 20 of each (current stresses, personality traits, past trauma) on my list and I love when I get to cross one off my list. I am hoping to go over each issue a few times actually so I can uncover more and more yucky nonsense that is causing me pain and resistance. I feel like each time I let some stuff out and feel better about it, it feels like I am cleaning out a really filthy basement. The basement wont take a day or 2, or even a month or 2 to fully clean out. It might take 6 months to a year, but you clean a little at a time, and it gets you closer to being accomplished. I want to clean every crevice and every corner of this filthy basement because i deserve it. I deserve to have the next 20 years be 5x as good as the past 20 years have been bad. The emotional and physical nonsense that has gone on because of my inability to control my thoughts will no longer rule my life. Living life will rule my life now. Being happy will rule my life now. I am committed to doing what it takes to keep the positive momentum going because I am finally putting myself first and I am finally emotionally taking care of myself.

Have a great weekend

 

Hi Spindoc,
I love your check-in. First there is the above, which seems so good. Then there is the rest of your post which demonstrates the impacts of doing simple inquiry into ones' life ---a common, fruitful outcome of so many people who have used the SEP, and Dr. Sarno's approach to "think psychological." I have witnessed so many people deepen their lives through this work. Bravo!!
Andy B

 

One simple sentence. You are a bad ass. I love how you are taking control and "cleaning house"! Keep it up! -AC45

 

Hi, Spindoc. I like the image you posted about... cleaning our your emotional basement. Discover your harmful emotions through journalizing. Then check that one out into the trash can. Keep reminding yourself that tomorrow you won't feel any pain at all! But don't rush it. Be patient and persevere.