Day 24 Positive changes in my life since starting SEP

Definitely one of the most positive changes or observations was how I always rush to do things and being tense at the same time while giving too much importance to everyday things such us: makeup, being on time, plans going exactly as supposed, not forgetting things etc. I managed to slow down myself and breathe. Not caring too much about mistakes I could do in an "if" world and mistakes I do: learning it is not the end of the world and more importantly: it is not as important as I make it. My job is just a job, people's opinions are just opinions, everyone has their own demons and I have to put myself first. Also, very important, I'm still repressing emotions without realising it and there are issues I have been avoiding even though I talked about them. I even had a dream last night when a very close person to me, but now estranged, told me she wasn't ready to confront me either. Something that I admit very unwillingly: thinking less of myself because I don't find the courage and time to finally finish writing the book that could allow me to live as a writer.

 

Hi, Don'tStopBelieving! I have the same tendency in my approach to everyday things as well. I've noticed that even when I have all the time in the world, there's still this sense of urgency (and therefore tension/stress) in my approach to things. I'm always clock watching. Starting my day with meditation has helped a lot (I only do about 10 minutes). I feel more slowed down afterward, like it gave my brain a chance to settle. Also liked what you said about having a new perspective on the importance of things ("job is just a job," etc.). I, too, make things far more important than they really are. Just thought I'd reply because I can relate to a lot of what you're saying.

 

Hi PonyGirl, thanks for replying. It makes such a big difference when you slow down doesn't it, I discovered a whole new world thanks to it! A world when a mistake isn't fatal or that I don't need to be 10 minutes early or that makeup isn't going to hide the inner emotions. I do fall into the trap of rushing though, the brain probably takes time to learn the new behaviour.

 

Hi there,
I relate so much to what you say, about the trap of rushing, even if there's plenty of time. This conditioning seems to be rooted in all my cells too (-: Grasping the thoughts that cause this behaviour, isn't enough though. The pattern stays. And wanting it getting away, makes me upset and even more stressy...
So, indeed, meditation helps me a lot too... especially to know about some other possibilities. For example, another atmosphere inside. Which is marked by so much more acceptance most of the time. And sometimes, yes!, I manage to live with a slower pace and more connection inside (-: For a couple of hours, or even a day...
Great that you share about this kind of 'rational thinking': things are as they are, not what my mind tells me about it! I will take that into my day.
Wish you confidence in your process with hidden and repressed emotions. To find courage to dive in, and see what happens without too much judgments...
Wish you well,
Lidwien