Day 25 Post on how I am doing so far....

"...write a forum post on how you are doing so far, and what apprehensions you may have about this treatment or your life in general."

In general, I have experienced enough change in my symptoms that I should be 100% convinced this is TMS. Generally, old pain is much better. New TMS symptoms pop up and then go. So why to I feel anxious about this? Why to I doubt the possibility of feeling great?

I even find myself imagining that others don't believe that this is TMS and that I will be right back to where I started (again!). For example, when I told my therapist this week how much improved I am, what a miracle, etc. I imagine that she is not enthusiastic enough, therefore, she must not believe it. Same when I tell my son. He sounds underwhelmed. This must be me projecting my own doubts.

Why? Not sure, but I have tried so many kinds of treatment and then would start to feel better, start to be happy and imagine better life only to have pain return. Is it possible that this very fact is proof of TMS diagnosis? (Although I had not experienced this much improvement for this long ever before.)

This sounds paradoxical but perhaps the prospect of a life without the old limits is wonderful but scary (to my unconscious!).

Now that I have written this I realize that I am terrified that this is not TMS and/or I will not get better!
Help.

 

HA-HA!! What a beautiful example of how TMS works!!!
Now that I have written this I realize that I am terrified that this is not TMS and/or I will not get better!
I totally understand your feelings though and have been through it. But what happened for me is that I got better and better at catching or observing the triggers that would make the pain come up. For example... my partner just got declined for a job that we were both sure she was going to get. She has been unemployed for a year. The stress of that expectation not being delivered threw up all sorts of fear and anxiety for me. What happened? Pain within a couple of hours. But because I KNOW the correlation, i am not as freaked out as I would have been two months ago. I know the stress will calm down. I know the pain will dissipate. How do I know? Because I have evidence after evidence after evidence that it is so. I am not at the place where I can say I am pain free and I know that going out and sitting at restaurants with friends, does not bring out the confidence that TMS recovery is alive and well... BUT if I look back - I am so much better than before!!
So keep the faith MaryBoz!! You ARE healing. And see, how great that you wrote it out - the terror of doubt. That is one more layer that is expressed and not repressed!

 

Hi, ladies.
MaryBoz, don't pay any attention to anyone who poo-poos TMS. It does work and has for thousands of people.
Who cares if they believe or not, so long as you do. Doubting only sets you back.
Steve Oxzanich says we have to believe 100 percent in TMS causing our pain, nothing less.

Nowtimcoach, your post is inspiring. You know TMS works. We may go forward or slip backward
and pain may move around, but we do get pain-free. Your partner not getting the new job probably
triggered old anxieties. Be as positive as you can to yourself and your partner.

 

Thanks Walt and Nowtimecoach. It really does help to have the encouragement of people who have been there. It would be a lot more difficult all on your own with only a few books...plus having to field the doubters.

The post this morning was very therapeutic for me, actually. I was able to have a discussion about what I was feeling with my husband, who reminded me how much better I am than I have been in years, regardless of a little set back here or there. Perspective is so helpful.

Nowtimecoach: hang in with your current stress. Financial and job stresses in the family can be tough, but they are so much easier to handle if you are feeling better, which you are! Thanks for always rooting for me. It's good to know you're out there.

 

MaryBoz. hug your husband. He sounds like a good guy. Tell him I said so.

 

That's a great way to show you have tms alright. Its whole existence is to keep you from knowing the truth.
So just know that your healing for real and go ahead -- start making plans for a life pain free.
This will help you to come to grips on what your going to do without the old limitations.

We sometimes do get scared of the diamond within, its up to you to reach in an make it shine.

Bless You