POTS, anxiety and stomach issues

Hi all!

I’m new here, and I suffer a lot now. Excuse my english, as it’s not my native tounge.

I could write a book about my story snd symptoms, but to make it short:
I have a history of anxiety, panic attacks, POTS, fatigue and different pains and aches.
Anxiety started in my 20’s, one year after my parents divorce. Developed chronic tachycardia ( benign/nothing dangerous), and have used beta blocker ever since. I’m also taking sleeping pill for insomnia.
I am and have always been the typical TMS personality: avoids conflict, people pleaser, goodist, perfectionist etc.
I’ve been a stay at home mom the last years, and one month ago I started working part time as a nurse.
The first day I developed Shoulder pain which disappeared after 2 weeks. I have been having my horrible fatigue and my long lasting heart symptoms like tachycardia, muscle weakness etv have been worse. Sleep is also bad. The last week I’ve been having horrible nausea and stomach pain, burning, bloating etc. This freaks me out, and I’m afraid I will never be able to work. I try to relax and started meditating, bur I guess I’m stressing it too.
I know I put a lot of pressure on my self. Like: «You have to manage this work. Its only a couple of days in a month». I’m afraid of letting anyone down, especially my new boss and I feel like I have been «lying» to her when I got the job. I didn’t tell her about my issues.
Now I’m unsure whether I get this new stomach symptoms and worsening
Of my chronic symptoms because I really don’t want this job? I do want to work there I think, but I don’t want to feel like crap!

I have also Been having relationship issues with my husband, feeling like I haven’t been able to reach into him as much as I wanted. Been crying over this, and we finally have been talking and getting closer again.
I have to active boys at age 2 and 5, so I know I have a lot of stressors in my life. I just feel like my symptoms are my main stressors and the ones that keep me from living a life I love. I don’t know who I am anymore, I feel like I am my symptoms 24/7. I have Been trying to push through the symptoms, but it seems I pay for it after wards. Then I feel like it’s definitely physical, even though I try to keep reminding me it psychologial and conditioned responses.

Well, I guess I’ve been journaling a lot here now Any advice wouldbe highly appreciated.

Thanks

Villen

 

Hi Villen,
Have you went to any doctor or psychiatrist. Are you taking any prescriptions ?

Thanks,
Cindy

 

Hi Cindy!

Yes, been to docs and psychiatrists earlier. Been to different cardiologists for the heart issues as well. Nothing wrong was found.
I’m taking a betablocker for the fast heart rate and sometimes Imovane for sleep. The nausea is due to gastritis, my doc said. It has been a little better the last days, but last night it was bad again.

Villen