Progress, now fell back

I had an accident when lifting a palm tree two years ago. I couldn't move for almost 1 week.

After I went to see the chirpractor for almost 3 months. It got better but never really went away.

I realized that I started living with the pain and it held me back drastically. I didn't go out as I can't focus on what other people tell me and having fun when the pain distracts me all the time.

Three to four months ago I found out about TMS. I started ro realize that I pish myself to hard. I am an entrepreneur and built something up and then lost almost everything. I came back and built something better but in order to do that I needed to also have a second job to secure income, as building up a business can be expensive. You pay private bills and company bills, while not a lot comes in company-wise.

In my mind I always was unsatisfied with this situation. Through TMS I found out, that I am quite harsh too myself or feel not enough because I didn't make it back yet.

Two months ago I started to see good progress with the TMS program. Suddenly, I had great energy in the morning. I even went jogging 6 miles three times a week again. The pain was gone mostly.

I started stretching as I wanted to be more flexible. But since then the Piriformis, butt muscle, sheen (outside) and lower back are very tight again. Their so cramped but I am not able to feel any large fear.
But to be honest, I realized that there is still a slight fear that days pass by and I am 'not there yet' on some days.

Last two days were very painful and I didn't move a lot because my left leg was a bit swollen at the ankle. I was sitting too much for years and blood flow might have been less optimal in this area.

Today in an early summer morning said myself I will move, no matter what.

I went jogging. The first few steps were so robotic. Very cramped. I kept going. The legs were fine but the lower back was still quite stiff.

At the end the pain was much less and I felt great. No leg pain but the lower back is still a bit tight.

I'm 100% sure this is TMS but I somehow can't beat it completely yet.

 

You don't beat TMS in the 'physical' world. You beat it in your mental/emotional/spiritual world... the 'outcome' is that the symptoms stop, but the only do so because we acknowledge THAT stuff. Something surfacy like "I put a lot of stress on myself' might be OK for posting on the forum, BUT You have to go a lot deeper than that. Switch your brain from checking whether or not the symptoms are there , to whether or Not you are really OK with your Family/partner/financial/mortality/ emotional world and then you'll be golden!

 

Thanks for your answer.

As written I was pain free which I achieved mentally. But I realized that jogging helps me greatly to reprogram the mind. If the brain realizes that during jogging I have no pain and I do it over then it's easier to change the thinking pattern to keep up physical activity without any harm.

And no, not everything is okay. As I wrote I lost everything some years ago and had to re-build everything. I was stuck mentally for a long time while everybody always looked up to me and always thought I know how stuff works. Some even envied me even at this stage. The only one who didn't believe in me was me.

I pushed myself and I worked two jobs 100%. Sometimes from 7am until 11pm.
I did this for several years when I realized I am going to hard. And my social life suffered greatly.

So to this day I still didn't reach my minimum goal for my second project. I am not free to decide and put together a team as I wish.

This moves me almost everyday. I am grateful for everything I have but the fact that I am not there yet even I know how to do it. I need to accept that it needs time but then last time my competitors (big cotporations) came along, copied everything and I was done. At this stage everything else in my life fell apart.

Now, the speed of implementation part is pushing me subconsciously as I know big players can do it again.

I think a lot about mental issues and am greatly aware of my environment but it's not that easy to balance progress vs. relaxation.

I found a lot of child hood and teenage trauma where I was treating myself not so well as I always was the sidelined guy.

I hope this gives a more clear image.


Edit: I am fully aware that even the accident was only 'the result' of my emotional built-up stress. But since I made progress with TMS I wondered why I suddenly fell back.