Day 11 Progress update

Evening all,

It's Saturday evening here in chilly old England, and day 11 suggests a forum post to update on progress, aha moments and doubts, so here goes:

Since learning about TMS and starting the structured education programme, I would say I have been seeing some change in my attitude, but not really my pain. Last week was a really tough week at work from a stress perspective. Being a teacher I run a business team of students who have to create a company as an after school project, and run it as a real business; product, marketing, finance etc. At the program awards, we won company of the year for the 4th year running. I am very proud of this, but have recognised that the success is possibly down to my personality traits as being a perfectionist and hard worker - I always push the students harder than they think they are capable of and the successive rewards are in some part down to this. However, I did have reservations as to whether I would able to get through the week with my back pain. On Tuesday night, the awards night, the pain wasn't too bad. But it has got worse as the week has gone on. Saturday today - pain has been worse than all week, so I've had to have two lots of narcotic pain meds.

The still reliance on pain meds is my biggest disappointment still. I have been doing better, because after around 5 months of needing at least 4 pills a day, the last week and half I have mainly managed on 2 a day. A big success for me. The defeatist in my however says this is because I am being sedentary in the evenings...

I have been trying really hard with the program. I have been re-affirming to myself on an hourly basis at least to think psychological. I know I still think physical however. I am still fearing activity. I haven't been swimming as much. The strange pain in my shoulders and neck that's moving around so much (TMS!!!! I know its you!!!) has been putting my off. What if it gets worse? The fear of getting worse. Its definitely the thing holding me back at the moment. But I will keep reading the success stories. I have Steve Ozanich's book arriving in a day or two to try and give me a helping hand. And if need be I can start thinking about the appointment with TMS therapist Georgie Oldfield after our successful Skype consultation. She is convinced its TMS. I think I am. I hope my subconscious catches up and joins us both in the belief soon...

 

You're doing very good with your thoughts and getting them to paper. This is how you will soon start to see repressions looking back at you. As you build your confidence and loose the bodily focus and fear you will begin to feel better and better. It will be a surge in your confidence first and then the next steps will start to fall in place. I really appreciate your journals and the way you explain yourself and your life. Your doing great my friend. Nothing more to add. Bless You