Day 8 Progress

I really feel that there is a strong connection to the pain in my lower back and the issues I am facing with trying to have a baby and the thoughts like "there is something wrong with me, why is it happening for everyone else, I am not doing it right (I am not sure what other way there is to do it, but you get it). Being a massage therapist, it was easy to blame the pain on that (easy for the doctors too) but blaming didn't do anything for the actual pain. I have only recently started to accept that the pain is caused by the negative thought pattern and all of the emotions around this issue. The pain has subsided and I really feel like I am in control of it. In fact, I went to the batting cages yesterday and had a great time!

I would love to know if anyone has any information or feedback on TMS and fertility. It seems that there is quite a large population of people with "unexplained infertility" and I have a feeling it could be related.

 

Just something that comes to my mind in this matter:
If you're really sure you want to have a baby, just let it happen.
Don't think too hard on getting one, just enjoy the "process" as often as you like.
Try to focus more on being lucky to have a husband who shares your feelings about a baby
and live in the present. That's what I've learned from my journey so far, most important: Live now and neither in the undecided tommorow nor in the unchangeable past.
If you're both physically healthy - and that's probably not to question when a first try failed - it will happen someday.

Another thought:
Do you have any worries about a baby ? Being a good mother, having the perfect child, having less time for yourself etc. ?

I hope this helps a little, even coming from someone who's still green in that matter.

I wish you the best.
Chris

 

Welcome Jamie!

It sounds like you are really making connections between your physical health and emotions--great work!

Isn't "stress" one of the big factors in inability to conceive? It makes sense that not only stress we know about but also our personality traits, repressed and suppressed feelings, etc. could also play a role.

 

Hi Jamie, what did you find out about the relationship between unexplained infertility and TMS? I'm beginning to think my TMS is at fault for mine...looking for anything I can find on the subject thank you x

 

What a surprise to get this message since I now have almost 3 year old twins. My husband and I tried for almost 6 years to have a baby and finally decided to do IVF which resulted in twins. I’m confident that the struggle with conceiving brought about so many physical symptoms in my body. But honestly, it led me to the world of TMS and self care, and therapy and healing and for that I am grateful. When we finally decided to do IVF, I felt confident in my body’s ability. I still had some shame that came up even after they were born but i continued to work through it.

I love tami Lynn Kent’s book “wild feminine”. It truly gave me deep insight into my relationship with my body and the process of conceiving.

Only after the twins were born and I joined a twin mom group, I found so many other women that had gone through the same thing. I wish I had them during the process but it felt like something so secretive. Please feel free to respond if there’s anything you’d like to share or questions you’d like to ask.

 

Haha I thought that might come as a surprise. Funnily enough this and only one other Facebook tms group post is the only content I can find related to tms and infertility. Great to great you were successful, how amazing.

We have conceived twice naturally but lost both consecutively within two months of eachother. Then nothing for 4 years now, heavy stressful, we're starting IVF in March but have nothing medically wrong with either of us... So I'm thinning there's a definite connection going on.

I'm struggling with other back pain tms symptoms,that started not long before we got pregnant the first time. I'm working through journaling, meditation, lots of reading etc and considering starting therapy with a tms trained specialist ASAP... I've a lot to work through.

Do you think the ivf process took the pressure off you having to conceive yourselves? I've read horror stories about the stresses the process creates too so, yeah, more fear .

Really appreciate your time and consideration replying to me. So fabulous you had twins!! What a dream come true xxx

 

I’m so sorry for your loss. I truly am. My heart goes out to you and your partner.

I would absolutely recommend seeing a TMS trained therapist. My therapy appointments were so vital in my healing. The IVF process was stressful for me, but I felt more hopeful than trying to conceive traditionally. Eventually, I had to quit googling anything at all related to fertility and IVF. It was not healthy for my brain.

I used to write letters to my future child. That was very therapeutic for me. Some i still have somewhere and some I planted in flower/plant pots. I also really loved guided meditations by Bree Taylor Molyneaux specifically for the IVF process.

This is a stressful process and I think that’s ok. It’s important to be aware of that and have the tools to manage it and it sounds like you do.

 

Thank you again. Feels really nice to have an ear about this stuff , the tms community is amazing. I felt that renewed hope when we had our ivf appointment too, I was convinced I would conceive naturally between now and then because of that confirmation that there was nothing medically wrong and we had our 'solution' coming. Just got a mega period though so this week has been dark again.

That's a lovely idea about writing the letters. Honestly, I don't think I've let myself even imagine being a mum since our last loss. Maybe that's affecting things too. When I feel that I am pregnant I've held my tummy hoping that it hang in there, but I've never visualised it actually happening for real. Really emotional even thinking of doing that.

Maybe I should, considering the law of attraction and all that.

Your story gives me a lot of hope, thank you. Big squeeze for your girls! X