Question to ponder: Recognizing pain triggers

I started recognizing pain triggers only a few months ago. After heated arguments with my teenage son, my back would start throbbing and I could barely walk. This occurred a dozen times before I realized the way I was handling our interactions was out of line with his and mine mental and physical good health. Nothing can tax a body and soul like a belligerent teenager. Nothing. I believe my response to this this lovely and kind, but difficult child has triggered some sort of flight or fight reflex in me I have never seen before. He has not done anything to warrant that, but he has drained my every resource over 18 years. Acknowledging this has been helpful.

I took some proactive steps toward changing our dynamic and in a few weeks it has gotten better. The problems have not gone away, but how we handle them has improved. He is an adult and I can only be a lighthouse at this point really.

I have noticed some other people and circumstances that can trigger the onset of painful episodes. Deeply cynical people. Deeply needy people. Shallow conversational environments. Work stresses due to poor planning. Even over sharing with my mother can trigger it.

I don't want to be unavailable to people, but I simply have to learn I cannot absorb it all. Pacing my exposure to situations likely to cause trouble seems to be the key to avoiding triggers.

 

You have really picked up on a valuable Tool. Never loose it ok. I love this story of hardship and lessons -- understanding, knowing.
Keep us up-dated, Bless you

 

Thank you Eric. I really appreciate your input and support.