Day 1 Ready to take action

Hello there,

I am going to start this as day 1, the first day of my quest to become pain free. Two and a half weeks ago I had a severe ‘episode’ which resulted in a home visit by a doctor who told that there is nothing wrong with my back and educated me on Dr. Sarno. This was the first that I had heard of Dr. Sarno or TMS. I quickly ordered the audio book, watched the 20/20 and a few other videos, which led me to this site, then ordered the hardcover book for myself and 4 more books for friends with the hopes that with a bit of work, this would quickly cure us all.

History: I have always been a healthy person, however, I began getting tremendous lower back pain was diagnosed with a herniated disc and sciatica on the right side via CT scan just over 4 years ago (March 2011). I took several days off work, saw Chiropractor, massage therapist, physiotherapist, bought a new firm mattress, even though my existing one was less than a year old, and was provided a special chair for my job, which requires me to sit all day. Since that time, back pain has been at the centre of my life. At times the pain subsided but most of the time it was constantly there. The pain greatly increased last summer, when i started a new position with the same company and has only been worse since. This time it is on my left side. Since February, it was increasingly difficult to sit at work, take public transportation and go about my daily activities. I was getting worn out and a little down. I would spend hours, on my back once I returned home from work. I stopped working out, socializing with friends, decreased driving and seeing family, and slowly cut myself off from activities that brought me joy and made me who I am. I stopped taking risks, I stopped being hopeful of the future, I stopped dreaming. I felt that I was basically a shell of the person that I once was and that at 43, my life was nothing. Luckily, I have an extremely supportive partner and he has been incredible in the two years we have been dating and 2 previous years when we were good friends.

Where I am now: I am still recovering from the episode that I had 2.5 weeks ago. I have not gone to work or been out of the house except to see my family doctor on one occasion. I am waiting for an MRI but my doctor believes this to be sciatic pain resulting from a herniated disc on my left side. I was barely able to move or take care of myself for several days 2 weeks ago and was totally dependent on my boyfriend Mark. I am absolutely certain that I suffer from TMS, however, my pain has not gone away. I am unable to walk more than 20 or so steps without having to sit. The funny thing is, my mind has totally shifted, and I have hopes, and dreams of travel and career. I am so thankful for this doctor that got me on to this path, but at the same time I am afraid that it won’t work for me. Maybe I’m thinking about it too much, or not enough! I was very reluctant to post this as (of course) I am a very conscientious person and wanted this introduction to be perfect, and amazing. I don’t mind people knowing my story but i am highly sensitive (surprise) to criticism and am afraid of making typos and grammatical errors, run on sentences. Anyway, I realize that this post, this acknowledgement, is for me, and if it helps me and if I in turn can help someone, then I would be overjoyed. I have cancelled all future physiotherapy and Massage Therapy appointments, greatly reduced my ibuprofen and Tylenol meds, and am ready to take action.
Thanks,​

 

Hi, LDW. The doctor who led you to Dr. Sarno's theory of TMS causing physical pain did you a real big favor.
You may have some structural back pain, but it is most likely caused by TMS... repressed emotions and/or
a perfectionist/goodist personality, wanting to be perfect and everyone to like you.

The SEP will help you to learn more about TMS and healing techniques. Journaling is one of the most helpful.
More than anything, it takes 100 percent belief in TMS. Put away any fears that you will not heal. If you
believe totally in TMS causing your pain, it will go away. I learned that and thousands of others have.

Your final sentence shows that you are doing the right things. Keep as active as you can. Walk as often as you can
and tell yourself it is not creating more pain or damaging you in any way. With every step, tell yourself a
positive mantra such as "I know this is from TMS. I can do this... it's a piece of cake!"

Try not to think about your pain and don't spend too much time each day thinking about its causes.
Especially not at night or before bed, or thinking might keep you from sleeping well. I only spent about
15 minutes to half an hour a day on TMS thinking, then the rest of time on pleasant thoughts and distractions.