Day 12 Real life gets in the way.

Just to share with you all something very real that is going in my life. Last May, my husband Bill & I were served with foreclosure papers on our house. It was not a surprise. Next Tuesday we meet with a mediator to try to resolve this. Thankfully, Bill's oldest son has expressed that it will be a privilege to help us out. Without him, I would lose my house, and I am grateful to the bottom of my heart.

But as with everything, there are complications. Bill & I tried to discuss some things last night and came up short because we really need some input from his son (who coincidentally will be in town next week on business). We didn't argue, but my questions and fears went unresolved. After a pretty good week with my back, it was worse this morning. Saw that one coming.

So now I'm sitting here with my inner child, whom I call PJ (short for Patti Jr.), trying to find the right words to say to her to get my back at least to where it was yesterday. I know this is fear - I feel it.

 

Maybe not being in control? Sounds very scary.

 

Patti,
What did you do before that worked? I would not let this discourage you. I would continue on the program
and do what you were doing. It is surely working.
G.R.

 

Hi G.R. and SandyRae,

I am continuing on the program- I just completed Day 15. The mortgage stuff is coming to a head. Tonight my stepson will join us after work so we can discuss his financial involvement in a bail-out. I have so many negative emotions around this- I feel like a failure, among many other things. But I'm trying to pull the emotions out of their deep, dark, corners and talk about them with my husband, who feels much the same way. Mediation is tomorrow morning, so by lunchtime I will know whether or not I will get to keep my house. Overall, it really does look pretty good, but that doesn't do much for my fear.

G.R., I had a major breakthrough around Day 8, when I realized how hard I am on myself and that I am constantly critical of everything I do. My mother started that when I was a child... The pain and disfunction backed off to a level I hadn't seen in months, and even though I've had some up and down days since then, overall it is still better than it was.

Steady as she goes!
Patti