Day 9 Recognizing destructive behaviors

Q: Have you been overly critical of yourself lately? How and why have you done this? You can find a review on recognizing destructive behaviors, such as self-criticism, here.

I guess I have been overly critical about myself my whole life. I always do self-criticism especially when things didn't turn up well, I will blame myself. For example, if the vacation didn't go on smoothly etc. Also, I am the one who planned for almost all household related stuffs. Personality wise, I am not funny, so I think I am a boring person to be around with. All these would put more pressures on myself to work harder or better (to plan a better holiday, to be a better wife, to be more humorous etc), sounds like a vicious cycle. As I am an over thinker and over-analyzer, my list of "What-if..." fears is endless too.

Many of us usually use the "What-if" questioning to weigh the pros and cons before making any decision, is this considered self destructive behavior? Or is it non-self destructive if the what-if is not negative and targeting at oneself?

 

I always thought that I had to be entertaining when I was with a friend or anyone. After years of this, a good friend told me not to try to be entertaining but to just be myself. I finally realized that it is I -- me -- who people like and enjoy being with, not some amateur stand-up comic. That knowledge helped me to relax and think better of myself and to be liked more.