Day 8 Recognizing emotions and mini-update

QTP: Are you having success at recognizing the emotions connected to your pain? If you have, how do these emotions make you feel? If not, what do you think is preventing you from doing this?
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So far through the SEP I've been focusing on my relationship with one particular person because those issues literally hit me hard a few months ago. It's been good. But I need to start moving to some other issues now with my journaling. I still haven't examined what was going on when the pain first started. Not with any depth at least.

Initially some of the emotions were really powerful. It was kind of nice to feel sorry for myself, instead of putting on a strong front. There was a two week period where I cried more than I had in the ten years prior. It was amazingly cathartic. To my surprise I feel a lot stronger for it. Like a survivor, I'm still here. Sometimes I stand in front of the mirror and stare at myself in silence. It always makes me feel more powerful.

I'm still far from doing my victory laps but at least it feels like I'm winning. Sitting is my trigger. It's Sunday afternoon and I've been sitting at my home computer for around 5 hours. Pain free. I'm Hulk Smashing TMS.

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[edit]Part of Day 8 is to talk about my TMS treatment up to this point, so here goes:

I haven't been journaling as much as I should. Two weeks went by between days, so I need to commit more to this process. The pain has definitely diminished somewhat. I'd say it's still a 4 or 5 after I get off from my internship, but I'm functional. I try not to pay it much mind and go about my day. Sitting is still the trigger that sends me into pain. I haven't done anything special when it hits, other then moving forward with my work and reminding myself that it is psychological.

I think I need to incorporate some of the meditation and visualization strategies daily. This is advice from Eric Watson. He messaged me and has been helping me. I can't express how grateful I am for his wisdom and kindness. I think speaking with him will help me commit to this entire process.

Things generally have been great though with the exception of the back pain. Work has been great, I've had some really cool networking opportunities that may lead to a job after I graduate, I've made some friends at the court, I've lost about 17 pounds in the last three weeks, and I've resumed weight lifting again. Also I'm pretty sure a girl at work likes me. Does this forum also help people with flirting? My tactics are similar to a 12-year-old.

Kidding aside, it comes down to a stronger commitment to doing this daily. But I'm loving the progress already.

 

WOW. Congratulations on all your progress! Reading this put a smile on my face

Rajput, that IS doing something special! Being able to tell yourself that the pain is psychological, not physical, and then continue on with your day, is HUGE! So don't minimize that, be proud of it! You're well on your way to becoming pain-free