Day 8 Recognizing my emotions

Structural Education Program, Day 8

Writing prompt: Are you having success at recognizing the emotions connected to your pain? If you have, how do these emotions make you feel?

Perfect timing on this question. I have a fresh example. Last night, my grown son (youngest of 3 sons) dropped by for an unexpected visit. I was very happy to see him and we had a nice chat, laughing, catching up on our news, and discussing all sorts of random things.

After he left, my symptoms flared up. And, I have this one annoying and weird symptom that happens when I’m angry sometimes: my legs will jump randomly (almost like I’m trying to kick something.)

So after he left, I’m smiling thinking how happy I was that he came by; but I’m now kicking away. I hunkered down to think of what we talked about that could have triggered the leg spasms. And then it came to me.

He had mentioned an upcoming trip planned with his brothers to a beach campground I often took them to as kids. Going on those camping trips with them are some of the happiest memories of my life. Now, they go together twice a year, but they never ask me to join them.

I’m sad at the passage of time. I’m sad that they’re grown. They like to be together. But don’t they MISS ME on these trips???? Don’t they want to relive old times?!!!! (This is irrational, because camping together now would not be like old times.)

Loss. Abandonment. Aging. Anger. Sadness. Yep. That’s what got my feet kicking. I spotted it. Got that right. Felt the feelings. And the kicking stopped.

 

Wonderful, clear insight Diana-M! Also, validating your feelings, connecting them to loss, abandonment, aging, etc. is serving you. Carry on!!!