Day 1 Return to TMS

I first read Dr Sarno's book about seven or eight years ago after hearing about him from Howard Stern. I found this site shortly after that and have browsed it periodically. Since then I have made several returns to the TMS world including purchasing one of the well known TMS workbooks. I can't remember how far I made it into that book but I know I did not stick to it long. I have decided to work my way through the SEP. The fact that it is appears straightforward and is free gives it a level of authenticity that some of the other complex, pricey TMS programs lack.

In my newest foray into healing the chronic pain that has been with me half my life I'm trying to keep things simple but not simplistic. I already find myself spending tons of time poring over posts, reading TMS book reviews and listening to podcasts. I feel that this is the wrong approach because it sows doubt and leads to decision paralysis. An example of opting for simplicity is that over the past month I have been doing deep, slow breathing. This lead to a drastic decrease in depression and anxiety, something that medication, counseling and even meditation never seemed to help with. Unfortunately the decreased anxiety did not decrease pain.

One thing I am trying is to just watch how my pain moves, return to activities I was scared of and reminding myself that pain is not reflective of tissue damage. When I began this approach a week ago there was an obvious shift in pain but as always it comes back with a vengeance. I need to persevere in a way that does not add pressure which is easier said than done.

Overall, I would say that over the past week a lot of my TMS doubt has been erased (perhaps re-erased) but there is still something holding me back. I believe in some ways we are scared to rid ourselves of chronic pain. Between the fear of realizing we lost so many years of our lives and so many opportunities to pain that if the pain were to suddenly leave we may feel even worse emotionally.