self-sabotage and belittling, is this a TMS behavior?

Or rather a behavior of people who have TMS?

I know when I talk to myself it's pretty mean, pretty horrible stuff (makes sense in my mind when I say it).

I probably self-sabotage by doing things other than what I need to do. I know when I do them I will do them wrong and then have to do them again (perfectionism) so I choose not to do them.

Does this fit with the TMS nonsense?

 

Oh absolutely. I’m a mean piece of shit to myself, have been my whole life, although I’m catching myself more and more.

I self sabotage in lots of areas in my life, quitting hobbies because I’ll never get good, imploding friendships and relationships because I feel I don’t deserve them or thinking I’m too dysfunctional for them or that I’m happier alone. Hyper procrastination.

all these things (in addition to many others !) contribute to nervous system dysfunction that leads to the generation of symptoms

 

Treating ourselves badly is a human trait, not just TMS related. The irony though is that with TMS-prone individuals we are typically people-pleasers and treat others much better than we treat ourselves, almost like we're taking that frustration out on us, right?

 

Also it's a defense mechanism. It anticipates defeat because it's afraid you won't be able to cope with it in the future.

 

Oh yes it does! Self criticism is a huge source of rage— so it can cause part of your TMS. Imagine if somebody else yelled at you all day long —how would you feel toward them? would you want to get away from them? Well that’s you treating yourself in a terrible way. You can’t escape this terrible pressure you put on yourself, except to be aware and learn to love yourself. It’s common for almost everyone with TMS and it’s an obstacle to overcome. It’s hard! But the good news is, the nicer you get toward yourself, you’ll be surprised how much better you’ll feel. Here’s a little bit about that in Alan Gordon‘s class, The Pain Recovery Program.

https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/day-7-pressure-and-criticism.16512/

 

Anything that creates RAGE for the interior 'child' or ID is going to add to the rage bonfire and potentially exacerbate symptoms.

Most sane people have an interior critic. It's not a bug, it's a feature of being Human. For people who are prone to TMS, the inner perfectionist and narcissist cannot stand criticism from anywhere or anybody. When it is heaped on by ourselves, it is likely to create symptoms and pain.

Like most things that are part of TMS we usually ignore it completely because we see it as a positive. It is what makes us competent and good at what we do. That is why Most people seem so confused when they get TMS out of 'nowhere'.

"I just got a raise" "I just got a new Job, GF, Home" "I am starting classes in ______"

The inner critic and Narcissist are angry cause these mean change, possible vulnerability to criticism and responsibility. Or worse....Failure!