SEP Journey Day 1

I just finished Week 0 and Alan Gordon’s program as suggested. Self abuse and scaring myself were the biggest shockers to me. I have been scaring myself about my body for a large part of my life. As well as self critical and being a perfectionist- goes back as far as childhood. I just have never seen it the way he describes it - as self abuse. I will continue to work with this.

Day 1 of SEP. I am a big believer in mind- body. Have read The Divided Mind a few times years ago (I realized I have 3 different color highlights in that book lol). I am also a big believer that our bodies heal themselves. I don’t run to the dr. I do work with a therapist. I have had unexplained pain off and on in my life, but what brought me back here is OCD that still will not lift and skin issues (redness, itchiness, acne). I am tired of working with the therapist - 2 years now - and have processed all the past stuff- I know we have covered everything. The anxiety continues to wax and wane - we were actually talking about ending therapy, and then I feel into another deep OCD cycle. This makes me wonder if I will ever be done. I was “reminded” about TMS via Gordon’s social media that I follow. So I pulled out Sarno’s book again and looked up the anxiety and skin parts and realized…. This has to be TMS. So here I am. I can’t remember what caused me to buy his book in the first place so many years ago. And I don’t remember how it helped me. I can’t find the journals I wrote in. Most likely got rid of them - I tend to not like reading them. And somehow, I seem to have forgotten about Sarno and TMS. But I am back now.


I have been through 3 therapists in my life, and the anxiety continues to wax and wane. It hurts me more than the physical pain I have had. I am reading, in the book and specific anxiety related success stories on here, how it is TMS. Even with the reading of the stories, there is still the uncertain part that it could be healed like this. Physical pain, I believe 100 percent can be. The psychological… I am struggling. I am just being honest. I know I need to be 100 percent. I will keep reading Sarno, and working on here, and reading the success stories on here.


up till now, for the anxiety, I have done EFT, EMDR, ART (accelerated resolution therapy which is similar to EMDR), read ALL the books - except Claire Weekes!!! I will be getting Hope and Help for Your Nerves because I know how much it is recommended here. For my skin- it just feeds the anxiety - is it ok? When will it go away? Keep looking to see how it is doing etc. When it has been pain- plantar fasciitis and low back pull twice were my most recent apart from tension headaches and neck shoulder pain- I can usually work through them ok. They don’t cause me to run to the doctor. I just deal with them and they clear up.

I almost feel weird posting this post, and would normally skip it, but i decided I kind of want a thread to look back on to see how the SEP and the work affects my anxiety and skin issues since the skin feeds the anxiety and the anxiety is what I have the hardest time handling. I am hoping I will find more insight on the other expressions of TMS as I continue to go through the SEP.


But most importantly I am filled with gratitude that a place like this exists. Thank you.

 

Thank you so much @JanAtheCPA ! I have noticed the different tone here on this forum compared to many other places on the net - there is so much helpful information and resources- it seems like the next best thing to actually working with someone like Sarno (or Gordon or Schubiner etc) himself! Hoping to find my way to healed and to provide support to others as I get further along on my journey. Amazing that you have still stayed around to support others- thank you for that!