Day 11 Set backs

I've been having set backs or flair ups or something like that. However I look back at the things I couldn't do before and I can do those things now. Before I would have pain simply logging onto a forum or reading about someone else's pain. I would start feeling dizzy and afraid. Now I can log on and type with nothing happening.

So I have come a long way. The road ahead may be long also, I dont know. I found myself feeling frustrated and annoyed that I was having set backs. I was almost going at a fast pace as before. I took it as a sign that I am still progressing and need to go at the correct pace. I was annoyed that I wasn't all the way recovered or that my brain still reacts to some old things as before. I thought I was done. But what does "done" mean? I mean this is something that took years to show up and I have been working at it for 4 months. I supposed I am being unrealistic. I should be grateful for my progress and I am. But I am human and impatient and I find myself wanting it to be over. I have suffered enough, that's my impulsive side.

I have read in recovery programs before if we get out of the way the body knows what to do. It's true and I have been getting in the way. A kind of micromanaging that started happening, trying to speed things up. So I have to regain the things I used. Set backs are really just learning opportunities. It's another chance to teach our brain. One thing about set backs that makes them difficult is the very reason that we already made so much progress makes us sort of forget our tools. When we make so much progress and get to point where certain tools arent needed we feel comfortable. The body is taking care of its self. But as we know the brain isn't perfect and every once in a while a new or old challenge will pop up. I felt I was scrambling for my strategies, like putting out a small fire. It went on for two days. Finally I surrendered and said I have been here before, no need to raise an alarm. Just feel your way through all this. So I am. I am also seeing thing subside fairly quickly. They arise quickly too. It's as though my brain is feeling jumpy. So let it be jumpy. Let it do anything it wants to. Children often act silly or strange, it's the same brain we have had since childhood.

So it's a learning process. One thing I have learned is the importance of practicing the tools even when no pain is present. Why? To make it part of us internally.

Happy Healing.

 

Thank you for that post ,I feel the same I think I am impatient for my body. To be normal again , but I am learning that it takes time and I have improved massively. Good luck and keep going all is well and as it should be. I have learnt so much during the last few months and am so thankful. Keep on keeping on doing the things you love.

 

My PT keeps telling me this. He puts it a bit differently, he says the mind is a do-er, the body is a leave-me-be-er. I used to think that was stupid, because hey, your mind doesn't do anything! It tells your body what to do, and then your body does it! Duh!
Duh's on me, right? I'm also impatient, but then, who wouldn't be? It's only human to want the pain to go away. I'm not going to judge myself for that.