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Shoulder pain - opinions welcome!

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by michaelg21, Mar 3, 2025.

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  1. michaelg21

    michaelg21 Peer Supporter

    Hi all,

    haven’t been on the forum for a while, but I’m no stranger to TMS/MBS/etc…

    I’m in a rural(ish) area of the UK so access to healthcare is crap at the best of times, so looking to the trusty forum for some opinions. So about 4-5 months ago, I noticed a nipping pain in my left shoulder when reaching out in front of me. It wasn’t severe, nothing that restricts movement, just annoying and only when reaching out in front. I had a lot going on (recent baby, wedding upcoming) so I ignored it and chalked it up to TMS/stress. It came and went for a couple months, but I definitely used my right arm for more than I did my left, just to let it calm down if it was actually structural. Around January the pain exploded and was excruciating, with pretty much 24/7 pain. Finally got in to see my GP a couple weeks ago, who referred me for a Physiotherapy consult. The apt was useless really, didn’t make me feel any better or any worse, just a bit of a waste of time. Thankfully, they didn’t nocebo me at all though, no mention of specific structures etc., just said it could be a while before it gets better. The GP did mention it could be rotator cuff tendonitis, but I’m struggling to think that I’m “overusing” the shoulder.

    Now, between the GP apt and the Physio apt, my right shoulder started to hurt also. Similar pinching sort of pain, but also a constant ache (when I focus on it too much, lol). I will admit, I’ve been really freaking out about the other shoulder, before the right one started to hurt as well. Reason being, I have one young daughter and another on the way, so here’s me having visions of not being able to lift them above my head, and generally not able to be the dad I want to be. I’ve also found myself in a position where it looks like I’m going to buy a house my grandparents have owned my whole life and was going to be sold outside of the family when they pass. Im over the moon, as it’s a lovely house with a lot of ground and endless privacy, BUT it will require a lot of manual work initially, so I’m also worrying that I won’t be able.

    So, I find myself here, hoping for some opinions from some fine folks who don’t believe that every bit of pain means the body is degenerating. So the reality of my situation is either:

    1) I have TMS, affecting both shoulders
    2) I have TMS in my right shoulder and possibly a minor(ish) injury to the left one
    3) I have somehow “overused” both shoulders by simply carrying my child around, throw in some “bad posture” (as per the Physio), and have actual tendinopathy in both shoulders, or something like a pinched nerve causing bilateral pain.

    Any takers?

    In all seriousness, I do see it for what it (most likely) is. I think I’m just feeling the pressure to be this amazing dad and husband, and am frightened something might stop me from doing that. Would love to hear from anyone who’s dealt with shoulder issues as TMS!

    Best,
    Mike
     
    michaelg21, Mar 3, 2025
    #1
  2. michaelg21

    michaelg21 Peer Supporter

    I should point out, I’m NOT over the moon for my grandparents to pass, lol! Just realised how that reads. I’m just over the moon that it won’t go to another family, as I’ve got so many great memories of that place and would love my daughters to grow up there.
     
    michaelg21, Mar 3, 2025
    #2
    louaci likes this.
  3. louaci

    louaci Peer Supporter

    It is TMS both shoulders. The idea of being a dad but not liking to deal with the day to day grind pisses you off. Maybe male mammals are wired to produce offsprings and dump them (or leave them to female mammals' care). They don't like to be hands-on because little creatures are so helpless, so unpredictable, so ungrateful, so tirelessly demanding and so uncooperative most of the time. It is no fun. And modern society and Western culture somehow now demands males to be involved fathers, besides bread winners besides fixing crap in the house besides all the other traditional expectations of males. They can't stand that no more and here comes TMS...
     
    louaci, Mar 3, 2025
    #3
  4. JanAtheCPA

    JanAtheCPA Beloved Grand Eagle

    Making the connection between stress and inflammation might be helpful for you @michaelg21. This is information that Dr Sarno did not really have back in the 80s, although Dr Gabor Mate did by the time he was writing When the Body Says No in 2003.

    Our immune systems respond to stress. They were designed to help us survive long enough to breed and keep the species going, although not really for much longer than that. The immune/stress response evolved eons ago to deal with the very few and very tangible physical dangers of the primitive world, and have not had any time at all to adapt to the modern world, which only spans the last 5,000 years or so.

    So - we have this incredibly complex immune response which is a combination of physiological and neurological processes, designed to activate under stress. In the modern world, where most of us are lucky to be physically safe, "Stress" can be both from outside stressors (as opposed to physical dangers) and also from inner emotional conflict and repression. However, our brains, having evolved this mechanism even before homo became sapiens, literally only understand immediate life-or-death threats to our physical survival whenever they sense a stress response occurring. And in today's world, most especially in the last 10 years or so, our stress responses are being activated constantly for all kinds of emotional threats on top of whatever we're repressing, even though rationally we know that our lives are not under physical threat.

    And here's the thing: our immune systems were never designed to be activated 24/7. So here we are, clearly suffering from a worldwide epidemic of inflammatory symptoms, conditions, and even diseases, which the medical industry tries to mitigate with drugs while scratching their collective heads and claiming that they don't know what causes these conditions...

    But I digress. You are suffering from what appear to be random and unexplainable inflammatory symptoms, and I'm here to say that it is 100% sourced in stress. You want to do whatever it takes to face and acknowledge all of the possible sources of emotional distress, inner conflicts, repressed negative emotions - not forgetting existential fear and uncertainty from extreme world dysfunction, over which we have absolutely no control.

    What we can control is the rational knowledge which our primitive brains literally do not understand, which is that we are physically safe. The only way to bring our rational and irrational brains into congruency is to "do the work" and learn to recognize what is being repressed, and acknowledge that it can't hurt us. You don't have to change or "fix" anything, you don't have to confront anyone, or take any outward action at all. The only thing that "the work" requires is to be vulnerable enough to acknowledge the reality of your thoughts and emotions. You have to be able to look at them without fear and say "Okay, I see it. It's not ideal, it might even be ugly - but is it dangerous?"

    You've certainly got plenty of material to work with, including impending second parenthood, lifelong partner commitment, and losing your grandparents which for most of us is the beginning of starting to think about our own mortality, and for you might be mixed up with brand-new thoughts about what will happen to this cherished property when you are gone or no longer able to take care of it...

    These are big issues, my friend! Respect them, accept them, and mindfully allow them the space they need in your consciousness. Thank your brain for trying to protect you, and assure it that these things are safe to contemplate.

    Congratulations on all the exciting changes, and good luck!
     
    JanAtheCPA, Mar 4, 2025 at 7:05 PM
    #4
    tgirl and louaci like this.

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