Day 8 So far, So good

Hey guys,

Im doing pretty well with the program. Pain has subsided a bit but I am pretty excited and shocked by how much this program and especially journaling has had a positive effect on my emotional and mental state. Ill give you the short version of my emotionalissues, but for the long version about both physical and emotional issues, Here is my post from last week titled "Day One"- http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/day-one.14535/ (Day One)

Short version on my emotional state is that I NEVER show any emotion. I havent cried in 20-25 years. "Im a man- You cant make someone see you cry"...Thats my thought if I get sad....I also get very angry and annoyed at times and i just keep it inside...it physically hurts to keep it inside but i do it because thats what you do. The journaling I have been doing, especially about past events, has been really relieving. I now realize that little things like being bullied as a kid often, and a few rejections by girls at early ages really caused my unconscious mind to get flooded with negatives thoughts towards my self image, confidence, and caused rage inside..I am finally starting to get that all out. It was bottled inside for very long. I NEVER think about it, but thats what the unconscious mind is right?

I need to attack the cause of the symptoms. I need to attack the unconscious mind. I feel like i need to slowly start cleaning up my unconscious mind of the negativity and harmful and untrue thoughts about myself and start filling my body and soul with positive affirmations. My physical pain cant live on in my body if i get my mind right.

Usually I would be obsessing about this program and trying to go too fast but I am just letting it flow.
Thanks for reading all and I hope all have a pain free weekend for all emotionally and physically

Spin

 

Thanks for the post/update! Glad you're doing well. I like the sentiment about usually obsessing over a program but instead you're letting it flow. I think that really gets to the heart of all this mindbody work and the spirit of being mindful and not overly striving (a problem for many of us conscientious/anxious folks prone to TMS). Positive affirmations are awesome too and a good thing to meditate/journal on.

 

Hi, Spin. I think that journaling in the SEProgram is going to help you to do some serious thinking about the bullying and rejection from some girls in your young years. This must have left you with a sense of inferiority, which you have been keeping to yourself. Repressing emotions are the typical cause of pain.

I've had friends were stoics and I never had a really meaningful personal conversation with either of them. There's nothing unmanly about crying. It's a great stress release.

MindBodyPT gives you good advice.

You really have a good handle on TMS and I am confident you are going to be writing your own success story and soon.

 

Hi Spin as someone who was subject to sever bullying as a child I can relate to how it can effect us without us even knowing it. I was a child with a strong Highland accent who moved to Dublin suburbs and in those days I was like from another planet ... they heard me say the number six thought with my strong Scottish accent I said Sex and that was the start of it!!! It definitely formed my personality in a different way up until I started on this journey I would never cry and I was super proud of it????? like a badge of honor just bottling everything up making a bubble of I dont care Armour to defend myself. You have seen the issues and thats so important from now its all about learning about us and what we are really feeling. I wish you all the luck and know it will come good, God Bless.

 

Thanks for the replies guys.... have a great wknd